The New Smasher
by Zornor
Summary: [FINISHED STORY]Zornor, a whole bunch of authors and of course the Smashers are put into the new SSBBD. And two evil twins Demokin and Damokin are trying to destroy the universe. Sound corny? The first few chapters are, but then it gets random insanity!
1. The Interferance

A New Smasher.  
  
By Zornor  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not... ummm... well, I do not own the Nintendo charecters. Also, the original idea is not mine. The idea was taken from 'Crazed Chris''s FF.net story Stuck in my Cube. On with the story...  
  
I was sitting on my brother's bed, playing Super Smash Bros. Melee. I was playing as Captain Falcon, a bounty-hunting F-Zero racer (Is F-Zero the real name?) I was versing Mario, Peach and Pikachu. I was about to smash Pikachu with a Falcon Punch, when my belly starting groaning.  
  
"Oh, I think I need some food," I said, walking up the stairs. I made a sandwich, and ate it at the table. After eating it, I went back down to my game, which was, unmentioned before, paused. I pressed start on the controller. Nothing happened. I pressed start rapidly, and it didn't work. I sighed, and pressed the 'open' button. The disc wasn't there... otherwise it was painted black like my Gamecube. Suddenly, a rainbow tornadoe rushed put of the Gamecube.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!" I screamed, as I was being sucked into the Cube. Then I was in another dimension, with rainbow colours shifting about. The next thing I knew, I was on Final Destination, the playfield of my previous match. I saw Captain Falcon finishing his Falcon Punch on Pikachu.  
  
"Woah! Let me see if I have powers!" I said, thinking of "UP-B" in my head. Suddenly, I was sent flying upwards, with a pencil acting as a pole volt.  
  
"Hey, that's cool!" I said, flying down.  
  
"What- Hey! There's a new guy here!" said Mario.  
  
"Really? Cool..." I said, thinking of "B". Suddenly, thousands or papers flew in front of me. They hit Pikachu, sending him back a little.  
  
"Hey, how did he do that? He isn't even a Nintendo Charecter!" said Mario, staring at me in surprise.  
  
"Time to do a new move!" I said, thinking of "ACROSS-B". Just then, a sharp pencil appeared in my hands. I felt my hands automaticlly move forward, moving the pencil into Peach.  
  
"Ouch! Well, I guess we should see his down-B move!" Peach said.  
  
"I guess..." I said, thinking of "DOWN-B". A shield of words appeared around me, stunning Mario the second he touched it.  
  
"Bleh! Ouchies..." mumbled Mario, spinning his head dizzly. He recovered quickly, and I guess he did because he was thinking "Left-Right-Left- Right."  
  
"Hey, this is cool! I want to see my jumps!" I said, thinking of Y. Then I jumped up, and then I thought of X. I did a mid-air jump!  
  
"Well, I guess it's time to introduce you to Master Hand."  
  
"Ok, I guess I really need to tryout.  
  
Alright! End of chapter. I know, I reckon I should've asked permission from Crazed Chris... if he's reading this and is angry, please accept an apology... now that was unexpected! Will I make it into the Smash Brothers Team? Find out, next time... I had to end it then, BTW, but I'm doing the 2nd right away :-) TFR! 


	2. The Tryout and Suspense

The New Smasher... chapter two.  
  
"Well, well. It's a new person. Some fool that wants to join the Smashers team," said Master Hand, folding his fingers.  
  
"Yes sir, I am a fool," I said sarcasticly.  
  
"Very well, you have to defeat five wire-frame fighters. If you defeat them all, you will join the team. Otherwise, you will be dejected, and you will not be able to join for a year," explained Master Hand.  
  
"Alright- hey, what the-" I mumbled, being transported through another dimension gate. Now this was wierd! Finnaly, I managed to make it to Battlefield.  
  
"Zornor: Multiman Melee on stage Battlefield. 3, 2, 1, go!" said a speaker. Suddenly, three female wire-frames and two male ones appeared in white light. I stood ground in a fighting pose. They all started to come towards me. I thought "ACROSS-A BIG." I automaticlly forced a powerful punch into two wireframes.  
  
"Easy!" I said, thinking UP-B. I sorta upper-cutted the nearest one. Then I thought DOWN-B and stunned the remaining two. While the defenseless wireframes were trying to get concious, I thought "ACROSS-B" and they both went flying off. Suddenly, I was through a teleport again.  
  
"Great smashing, Zornor," said Link, who was watching before.  
  
"Hey Link. Did I make it in then?" I asked.  
  
"Nope, that's just the tryout. You might make it, if you defeat another smasher. And that comes very soon."  
  
"Oh... right," I said, wiping my forehead.  
  
"Hey, are you hungry?"  
  
"Nah, I ate in my home-town. But, if your leading me to the cafeteria, sure, I'm kinda thirsty."  
  
"Ok," he agreed, leading me to the cafe. When we got there, it looked like the one in the Simpsons, except cleaner. And there was better food, too. I examined the food. There were mushrooms, bottles of milk, sandwiches, tropical fruits, lots of stuff from Nintendo games.  
  
"Hmmmm... maybe a few mushrooms... a bit of pineapple and a bottle of milk."  
  
"It's a good idea to pick food from your game. But, you don't have to. It gives you more energy in the game."  
  
"I never noticed anything different when I was playing the game outside the world."  
  
"You're from the outside world?! How did you get those powers then?" asked Link, staring in surprise.  
  
"Well, I started writing at... hmmm... about 21st of December 2002. And, I guess I never thought B-UP or anything in my life... unless it only occours in this game."  
  
"Well, no wonder. It only happens to us too, but we're always in a game, so there," replied Link with a wink.  
  
"Yeh... hey, how about we sit next to Mario?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Hey Mario! Remember me interviewing you?" I called out, drawing his attention.  
  
"Oh yeah, when Bowser's forces attacked for studio?" he laughed.  
  
"And you were wishing you could upper-cut him like a boxer... but you can't do that, you star in children's games!"  
  
"Heh-heh... yeh."  
  
"So... your next match is tommorow... no worries :-)" said Link. "Usually I get there late."  
  
"Ok, do I return to the real world?" I asked.  
  
"Nope... not until the holidays. By the way, the SSB scientists have to clone your DNA for the next SSB game. I reckon they should call it "Team Tackle ^_^" suggested Link.  
  
"Nah, that sounds unco-ordinated. I can't thnk of anything, but that stills sounds unco," I said, chewing on a bit of pineapple.  
  
"How about... Free for All? It's simple, and it fits in."  
  
"Hmmm... how about Use Map Settings ^_^" I said, thinking of Starcraft.  
  
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? was the expresion on their faces.  
  
"Oh... ummm... it's another game." I said, putting some mushrooms in my mouth.  
  
"Oh yeah... right..." said Mario and Link, eating their food again. There was a small amount of silence, when Link said, "Sooo, do you want to train for the new game? It shouldn't be long... maybe several months..."  
  
"(((((((((((((((((((((O___O)))))))))))))))))))) Ruh-r-r-r-ruh-really?" I said, staring in full surprise at Link. My mood was 75% surprise and 25% worried.  
  
"Hmmmmmm... I'll tell you in the next chapter... can you hold the suspense?" said Link, because I whispered it in his ear to say so.  
  
Anyway, thanks for reading this fic, and good luck to crappy reviewers. Coz I'll flame you back. 


	3. The Countdown

I shall annihilate all flamers. My feet are warm enough. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ "Oh no, that'll be too long! I have to get back to Earth!" I said, holding my face in my hands.  
  
"You're from the same game as Ness?" Link asked.  
  
"Nah, it's just another planet called Earth," I answered, taking my face off my palms. I walked slowly out of the room, looking for the sleeping parts. On the way, I saw a normal-looking human.  
  
"Hey, who are you?" I asked.  
  
"I am Phoodooman."  
  
"Hey! Aren't you an author on FanFiction.net?"  
  
"Yeh, I was playing Nintendo Gamecube, and I got really hungry. So I went to the kitchen to make a sandwich, and ate it."  
  
"That's exactly what happened to me!"  
  
"Yeh, so I guess that you know the rest of the story."  
  
"Ah-ha! So, can I play a training match with you?"  
  
"Yeh, sure. I want to see someone's advantages," Phoodooman said, leading me to an arena area.  
  
"Ok, Phoodoo, how bout Corneria?"  
  
"Sounds great!" Phoodoo said.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Ok, watch this!" said Phoodoo, pulling out a staff.  
  
"Heh heh," I said.  
  
"Yeh, and watch this UP-B move!" he said, suddenly sticking his staff in the ground, and flying upwards.  
  
"My UP-B move is basically the same!" I said.  
  
"Haha, then what about ACROSS-B?" he said, throwing his staff towards the fin of the ship, and returning to Phoodoo.  
  
"Wow, a boomerang!"  
  
"Yeh, how about your ACROSS-B?"  
  
"Watch this," I said, jabbing a pencil into the ship hanger.  
  
"Hey, that's great. Does it work like a smash move?"  
  
"Yep. And what about your B move?"  
  
"Ok, then watch this!" he demanded. His staff suddenly turned 90 degrees, and it shot a fireball from the end of the stick.  
  
"Yep, kinda nice. How about mine?" I said. A pile of papers appeared in front of me, and after I said "Jump!", the papers started blowing in front of me.  
  
"Hmmmm... it seems that your special moves are based on writing. How about your last one?" he asked, tapping his chin.  
  
"Ok, get another player down here, and I will show you how this works," I said. A clone of Phoodoo came down from the sky, and I went up to it, and thought DOWN-B. Just then, the clone went all dizzy. I thought ACROSS-B, and the clone went flying!  
  
"Wow, I'll show you mine!" Phoodoo said. He stuck his staff into the ground and suddenly, a firewall appeared in front of him.  
  
"Cool, let's get some sleep. According to my watch, it's already 11:20!  
  
"Good idea. Let's get some sleep."  
  
6 months later...  
  
I stabbed my pencil into Ganondorf. He went flying off the stage, and I had won that stock match. I walked out the door, and saw Phoodooman there.  
  
"Hey man, how's it going?" I asked.  
  
"Oh all fine... ever since I defeated Roy the 2nd time, I've became more confident."  
  
"Yeh, and the easiest doesn't seem to be Jigglypuff... when my brother and I used to play, he would always do that annoying B move! Now she's got the habbit of doing that..." I said, slapping my forehead.  
  
"Heh heh, my hardest is Marth. I'm not very good against speedy characters."  
  
"Me too... hey, noticed it's only one month from now till the new Super Smash Brothers is released?" I said, looking at my watch.  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"Well, I'm going back to my room. C'ya!"  
  
"Bye!"  
  
I went back to my room and sighed. I could not see my family until the new game comes out. I could only talk to them. I lifted up the phone speaker.  
  
*Please dial 1 if you're in section A. If you're in B, dial 2. If you're in C, dial 3,* said the auto-thingy. I dialed 3. *If your in Room 1, press one. And excetra.* I pressed 3. *You are Zornor. Forwarding phone to Earth... If you want your phone to be forwarded to the location pernamently, press 1. To ignore, press 2.* I dialed 1. I dialed my phone number. I managed to get onto my brother, and told him to buy the new Super Smash Brothers. He said ok, and hung up. A month later... I walked into the announcement hall. Master Hand was one the stage, along with some charecters from different games.  
  
"Settle down, people. And Pokemon. Super Smash Brothers-" started Master Hand. I was hearing heartbeats in my head, waiting for the last word of the title..."-Use Map Settings!"  
  
The whole assembly, except for the people on stage, were all like this: (O__O).  
  
"I demand you stop stealing from our game!" said an SCV, coming into the room, and going out again. (A/N BTW, SCVs are from Starcraft.)  
  
"Hang on a minute, this is the wrong palm card! I demand getting the real palm card!" said Master Hand, waving his fingers in a angry gesture.  
  
"I got them on the card for you!" said Mario, snickering in laughter.  
  
"O.o Ok..." I said. It was over 7 months since I said that last.  
  
"And the real part is... Battle Deluxe!" announced Master Hand. "And what I was also going to say, is that it's being released today, in one minute! To be precise... (O_O) (gesturing with fingers) IN TEN SECONDS!!"  
  
The audience started counting down... 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... RELEASED!!  
  
(((What will happen? Find out, on the next episode. Thanks to Crayola for letting me advertise on their crayons.((()  
  
A/N I couldn't submit this for a week, since FanFiction.net locked my account for a while, for the Simpsons Bloopers thing. I can't blame them of course, it was breaking a rule anyway. 


	4. The Attack

Ok guys, heres chapter five. Secret characters will appear throughout the story... they're just authors later wanting to join!  
  
Here's messages to the people so far...  
  
Slywolf - Nice stuff! Uh, I checked the appearance... pretty cool... right... whatever.  
  
DarkMagnus - Next time please write a longer review?  
  
Jordiscy - Well... you don't see many female fighters in the game, do you? ^_^ Try to get that train back, will you? O.o  
  
Oh yeah... to all of you, press enter twice to make a paragraph in your reviews :P and STOP USING 'rnrn'!! I don't even know what it means, unless I'm supposed to look at the review in the actual site! (Get on with that dang thing, Microsoft (((O_O))) )  
  
::few seconds later:: (nice action thing Jordiscy!! :P O.o)  
  
Well, yeah... I noticed that Hotmail doesn't put spaces between their received e-mails. But it's really cool other than that... enough blabbering, let's get on with the story, guys!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
One day there was an insane person... he was called Zornor! (real name Jack, but use Zornor!!)  
  
He was playing SSBM, which is great.  
  
Then he got a sandwich, which is great.  
  
Then he was sucked into the SSBM world, which is great.  
  
Then he lots of Nintendo characters and authors on FF.net, which is great.  
  
And now he can't spell characters so he has to use Microsoft Word, which is great.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"YEH!!! AWESOME!!! SUPER SMASH BROTHERS BATTLE DELUXE IS *OUT*!!!" I celebrated, along with lot's of Nintendo characters.  
  
But then something weird happened. More authors appeared onto the stage!  
  
Everyone froze, as they looked at the new guests.  
  
"Wh-where am I?" said a female person.  
  
"This is strange..." said someone who looked like Captain Falcon... sort of.  
  
"Uh... ok... O.o" said someone else who looked like Marth.  
  
"...who are they?" asked Mario.  
  
"I think they're authors on FanFiction.net," I suggested, getting out of the trance.  
  
"More writers?" sighed Luigi.  
  
"Uh, yeh! We're all authors! I'm Jordiscy..." said the girl.  
  
"...I'm DarkMagnus..." said the Marth-esque.  
  
"...and I'm Slywolf!" said the Captain Falcon mimic.  
  
"Hey, I saw that in the script!!" said Slywolf.  
  
Author Zornor: Well, sorry!!! ::continues writing something else::  
  
I looked at myself... um... which is almost impossible without a mirror! (Or something else slightly reflective.)  
  
"So... what do you guys want to do while you're here?" I asked them.  
  
"I ate a sandwich before I got here!" they all said.  
  
"***BEEP***ing hell, why does everyone need to eat a sandwich around here?" demanded Phoodooman, finally showing some sign of presence.  
  
"I dunno, Phoodoo, but lucky my twin put on the censor!" I said, referring to Author Zornor.  
  
Author Zornor: Don't involve me in my own story!  
  
"Ok, well, anyway, let's see if you have any moves, you guys!" I requested.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Master Hand, if I may ask, we need 5 people on one stage!"  
  
"With 5 people on 1 stage, the arena could be destroyed! *I FORBID IT*!!  
  
"Ahh, screw you!! I said. "Come here, guys!"  
  
The rest of the authors came through the door reluctantly.  
  
"Ok, if you can't stop being a stupid ***BBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPP***-chy di- ***BEEP***, I'll put your thumb in a blender!" I threatened.  
  
Author Zornor: Good lord, the 'beeps' don't last that long! Stop using big phrases!  
  
So Master Hand lead us to the new arena, the Original Mario Brothers thingy.  
  
"Ok, now that you're all here, there's only one condition: you all get no more than 5 stock!" said Master Hand.  
  
"Oh, well that's good enough!" said Jordiscy.  
  
"I suppose so..." said Slywolf.  
  
"Well... uh, have fun!" murmured Master Hand.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Let's see your moves first, Jordiscy!" Phoodooman requested.  
  
"Sure!"  
  
The elven author raised her hands into the air. Her hands glowed green, but then she brought them down and thorns came from her hands at high speeds. They were just about to hit DarkMagnus, but fortunately he moved before they made contact with his body.  
  
"That's the -B move," said Jordiscy.  
  
"What about all the others?" DarkMagnus said, in relief that he wasn't struck by the thorns.  
  
"Here they all are!" said Jordiscy.  
  
For the Up B move, she jumped, swang her sword somehow vertically in a 360 and then landed again.  
  
"Ok..." I said with a O.O .  
  
So Jordiscy showed off her B move, just a powerful punch, placing the person into a temporary weed. Being 'oh I don't wanna volunteer for that', I had to volunteer to take the pain of punches and thorny weeds. (and no, they are *NOT* horny!)  
  
So, anyway, she did her Down B move, which is very powerful. Again, I had to 'volunteer', and... well... here's what happens. She rolls under the persons feet, then pinches them on the shoulder, making them unconscious, like my move.  
  
"Well, that's all for Jordiscy!" SlyWolf said.  
  
"How about your moves?" said DarkMagnus.  
  
!!!CRASH!!! The sirens went off, and as if a shockwave hit us, we were racing out the exit and went straight to where the sound came from.  
  
"I hate it when I get interrupted..." mumbled SlyWolf  
  
We saw Koopa Troopas and other various creatures with hands putting up plastic, yellow ribbons saying 'Do not come through - Safety Force'.  
  
"What's this all about?" I asked Bowser.  
  
"Non-Nintendo characters are invading the building. All Smashers are to get to positions!" asked Master Hand, thinking I was asking him.  
  
So I was told where to go, and I went there... protecting the back door with Dark Magnus. It was the most pathetic position, but at least I had some company.  
  
"So, umm, do you think that someone will actually come in here?" asked DarkMagnus.  
  
"Very unlikely..." I mumbled.  
  
But that chance seemed to get higher as Pacman came into sight.  
  
"(((((((O_O))))))) Uh... hi Pacman!" I said.  
  
But the only thing Pacman replied with was an attempt to hit DarkMagnus, on the other side of the door.  
  
Well, you've seen-  
  
Author Zornor: *READ*!!!  
  
... ... ... ... ...Well, you've read DarkMagnus escape Jordiscy's thorn blow, but even a pat ball like Pacman exceeded the speed of those buggers.  
  
So, you can tell that DarkMagnus was tackled by Pacman.  
  
"Stop humping me, you idiot!" said DarkMagnus.  
  
But Pacman just continued to stomp on DarkMagnus.  
  
"Alright, that's it you yellow ***BEEP***, it's time to die!!" said DarkMagnus. Continually doing A moves, he beat the heck out of Pacman. Suddenly, like a popped beachball, Pacman was lying flat on the ground.  
  
I picked up Pacman and threw him quite far compared to how far I usually throw.  
  
"Nice throw," said DarkMagnus.  
  
"Why thank you O.o" I said.  
  
Suddenly I could somehow hear Master Hand.  
  
"Zornor? DarkMagnus?" said the voice of Master Hand.  
  
"Yes?" We both said, knowing not to question at a time like this.  
  
"We need urgent help at the front gate..."  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
So there I was, fighting these enemies, most I'd never seen before.  
  
I got to see DarkMagnus's and Slywolf's moves in this occasion.  
  
Against an alien from 'Space Invaders', Slywolf dodged one of his pixilated beams and then threw daggers at the alien. The alien didn't die, but saw the last seconds of it's streak of consciousness when Slywolf took off his sunglasses and glared at the creature. The creature seemed to get electrified, then fell to the ground.  
  
He performed his other moves on a rebelled Koopa Troopa. Slywolf dodged it's attack by leaping and then being surrounded by an aura that reassembled a wolf. Then suddenly the Koopa Troopa suddenly moved slowly towards Slywolf. Suddenly, as if weakly hypnotised, it bent it's neck back and smashed it's head on it's shell. This made it stunned.  
  
When I turned to see DarkMagnus... would you believe it, he was out! I stunned a few creatures before getting over to Magnus.  
  
Author Zornor: ::in author's note:: One question... can I call you Magnus, Dark Magnus?  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Ah shit... it's about time I have to get off the computer -_-.  
  
Thanks for reading, and please join soon ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ O.o . 


	5. Bah, it's getting annoying these titles!

Now, it's the one you've been waiting for... (for a 10 days at the most ^_^) CHAPTER 6!!!  
  
I'm adding a few characters in... because everyone- oh, I'll tell you in the story.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Are you okay man!" I asked DarkMagnus (later on, Dark).  
  
He just groaned, and weakly pointed at something behind me.  
  
I reluctantly moved to the side, to find a Sonic clone close to punching me in the head.  
  
"Suck on this, you... bushpig!" I said.  
  
Now he got really offended, and somersaulted right in front of me. I would've said right under me if I hadn't kicked him right into a wall. Fortunately he became unconscious.  
  
By now, Dark was up, and he looked like he'd never been knocked out by what I saw.  
  
Besides all of those basic moves, his first major move was something like Roy's explosion attack... except it had a bigger radius and more powerful! He had stunned a number of enemies... most of the clones had been destroyed now.  
  
Because they saw him as a large threat, the clone army headed towards Dark. The fastest one, another Sonic clone, was intercepted by Dark running with his sword out and hitting him on the head, concluding his short streak of consciousness.  
  
Then a renegade goomba jumped over him, but was too slow for an Up B move. This did not stun the opponent, but he was weakly lying on the ground. So Dark just kicked him away O.o .  
  
Then a Crash Bandicoot clone came up to him... and did his, umm, ooga-booga dance! But Dark countered this with... Counter.  
  
So then Crash Bandicoot was still alive, but then Dark uh...  
  
Author Zornor: ::to self:: I ran out of B moves!  
  
Well, he just grabbed Crash and punched him in the gut, an injury he definitely deserves. So then Dark kicks him away.  
  
Sly came along to help. Then, something weird happened. To a renegade Bowser clone, they, in synchronisation, punched him in the gut, kicked him in the face then threw them into oblivion!  
  
Well... that was weird. But I haven't seen weird yet. Another author appeared from the sky!  
  
Except this wasn't a human... but I could tell it was an author somehow.  
  
"Erm... I like tuna!" said Jordiscy, also staring at the reptilian author.  
  
"Why am I here?" said the author in a rough voice.  
  
Master Hand walked out from the door and said: "Because you have been chosen to fight in our league, the SSB league!"  
  
Author Zornor: ::to audience:: Whatever.  
  
"Hmph, doesn't sound very good."  
  
"Prepare for lots of fighting... tonnes," encouraged Master Hand.  
  
Sorry, I forgot to mention that all of the enemies have gone away.  
  
"Fine, I will introduce myself. My name is Balsk, a Draconian. I was a former soldier," said the author.  
  
"Ok, Balsk, let's see you fight. Looking at your extreme strength, you will be fighting 25 fighting wire frames," demanded Master Hand.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Balsk appeared on the stage, along with 5 fighting wire frames (FWFs).  
  
His first move was raking in a couple of FWFs and then headbutting them off the stage. Then 4 more opponents came to him. But they were no challenge to Balsk. He grabbed them with his bronze wings and threw them upwards.  
  
The score then was 6/25. 5 opponents were facing him now. Balsk took little damage, swiping them off stage because they were annoying him.  
  
11/25... he just lay down and yawned when a male FWF smash punched him. Balsk just kicked it.  
  
12/25... Balsk found another 3 trying to hurt him. He just uppercutted them individually.  
  
15/25... all of the wire frames were whimpering at the side of the stage. Balsk tackled them, but not all of them fell off. So then he moves a few feet away, then suddenly blue flames came from his claws and made them all fall off!  
  
22/25... only 1 brave FWF walked to him, but Balsk just smashed his claw into the ground and then the FWF went flying off the stage from a shockwave.  
  
23/25... the remaining 2 wire-frames just jumped above Balsk. But, just to get out of the Battlefield, Balsk suddenly flew upwards really fast and hit them off the top of the stage.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Hmph... that was very easy!" said Balsk, walking away.  
  
"Hang on! Hang on!" said Master Hand.  
  
"Why should I?" shouted Balsk, still going.  
  
"Because... you will be a really popular Smasher if you do join!" pleaded Master Hand.  
  
"Oh, I think I will ::cough:: ::cough:: join your ::cough:: ::cough:: very good league!" said Balsk sarcastically.  
  
"Smashers, stop him!" ordered Master Hand.  
  
I lead the group and stood in front of Balsk.  
  
"Look, there's no way you're going to get back to your homeworld, so just stay here, or get smashed into oblivion!" I said sternly.  
  
There was a short pause before he replied by doing his Down B move.  
  
"Aah!"  
  
Everyone was caught by Master Hand.  
  
"Smashers, stun that pest!" ordered Master Hand.  
  
So we all did our most powerful moves. I stabbed him with a pencil, Slywolf and DarkMagnus did their 'One-Shot' move. Jordiscy did her Weed Punch. But no avail, Balsk just fell asleep.  
  
"I-a got an idea-a!" said Mario. "*FLUDD*!!!"  
  
Suddenly FLUDD (Super Mario Sunshine) appeared and automatically appeared in front of Mario.  
  
"What do you want, Mario?" said FLUDD in his robot voice.  
  
"Remember that thing you did in Zorrodude84's story?" I asked.  
  
"???!" was all FLUDD was like.  
  
"Oh I remember, that was FAG!" I recalled.  
  
"?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!??! O.o o.O" was what everyone was like.  
  
"::sigh:: It's a story on FanFiction.net," I finally said.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Suddenly, FAG appeared! (sorry Zorrodude84!)  
  
FAG: WHY THE HELL AM I HERE?  
  
"FAG, this isn't in script form! And there's no speaking in caps either!" I said.  
  
"How restrictive..." said FAG, finally changing.  
  
"Remember what you did to Petey Piranha?" I asked.  
  
"Yes... what time?" he said.  
  
"The 2nd time!" I said.  
  
"Oh... not again!" said FAG.  
  
"Go in his mouth!" I said. "Link should offer you a bomb!"  
  
"Who's 'he'?"  
  
"Balsk over there," I said, pointing to the reptilian creature.  
  
"Oh."  
  
So Link put a bomb into his squirt thingys, and then FAG equipped the Rocket Nozzle and then sped off!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Will FAG be able to put the bomb into Balsk's mouth? Find out, on the next episode of Dragon-  
  
Author Zornor: I only liked the Buu saga of Dragon Ball Z! ::pulls out shotgun and kills narrator:: As he was saying, will FAG be able to put the bomb into Balsk's mouth? Find out, on the next episode of ::ahem:: The New Smasher!  
  
Also, for a note, Slywolf is right. Please don't overflood my reviews! I'll add the others later! 


	6. Here's some proof, you bum!

Guys, you'll see why Balsk is just sleeping. Soon... it will manage into this chapter. He's *not* a super-beast!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
FAG flew over to Balsk. Balsk just yawned again. FAG tried to fly in, but Balsk just crushed FAG when he attempted to go in.  
  
Author Zornor: Crap!! ::grabs another copy of FAG and gives to Zorrodude:: There! Phew!  
  
"There's no hope!" said Mario. "I'll see what I can do with *FLUDD*!!!"  
  
So FLUDD appeared.  
  
Mario tried squirting Balsk. For some reason, little bits of transparent shell came off Balsk. He started laughing. It was actually *tickling him*!!!  
  
"Now's our chance!" yelled Phoodooman.  
  
"Huh?" said Balsk.  
  
Everyone got Balsk unconscious. It took everyone to carry him to Master Hand.  
  
"Good work, Smashers. As a reward, there will be 3 new authors coming soon," said Master Hand in a calm voice.  
  
"Yay!"  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Umm, where am I?" asked Balsk, who had just woken up.  
  
"You're in the SSB hospital. It only holds a few patients," said Master Hand.  
  
"Oh great, I'm in the sissy hospital," mumbled Balsk.  
  
"Not really. We've extracted a liquid from your system, enabling your shell growth."  
  
"What!"  
  
"It's so you aren't the winner of every match. It would be extremely unfair if you had that liquid."  
  
"Oh... stupid glove!" Balsk shouted.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Don't think so, Phoodoo!" I taunted.  
  
I stunned him. Then I jabbed my pencil into him.  
  
"GAME!!" the announcer yelled.  
  
"Nice one there, Zornor!" said Phoodoo.  
  
"Oh, it was nothing!" I said, poking my tongue out.  
  
"Bumhead!" He playfully punched me.  
  
"Zornor to Final Destination!" said the speakers.  
  
"Got to go!" I said to Phoodoo, making my way to Final Destination.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"BWAH HAH HAH- ::cough sneeze:: oh, maybe I shouldn't fight with a cold!" said Master Hand, versing me on Final Destination.  
  
I ran to him, but he was quicker. He lay on the ground, palm-down, and he dragged his hand across the stage.  
  
"Woah!" I said in surprise, but not in awe. I jumped before he reached me. I got my pencil out and started stabbing him with it.  
  
Master Hand took damage, but didn't react. He finally made a move by doing his drill move.  
  
As usual, I wasn't fast enough for it. I felt lots of pain before flying to the other end of the stage. I did my B move, and he was hit hard by stacks of papers.  
  
Looking at the damage meter above his head, he was almost about to retreat.  
  
So I ran up to him, but too late to see him shape into a gun, face downwards and bombard the stage with exploding bullets.  
  
I jumped, did a mid-air jump and then did my Up-B move, which hit him and made him retreat.  
  
I was teleported out of the stage, and then more authors appeared.  
  
"Here are the authors Master Hand promised!!" I celebrated!  
  
"Huh?" said a female author.  
  
"Where are we?" said a male.  
  
"We're in insane land!" said the female author.  
  
The other three reacted like the other two.  
  
"Well, I'm Mal!" said Author 1.  
  
"I'm Miana," said Author 4.  
  
"My name's Mage," said Author 5, trying to find a toilet.  
  
"People call me Siphon!" exclaimed Author 2.  
  
"And I'm Ashley," said Author 3.  
  
"We're... all... insane! Yeh, insane!" yelled Mal.  
  
"No, you're the only insane one!" said Jordiscy, entering to see what the commotion was all about.  
  
"I agree," said Mage.  
  
"Shouldn't we see their moves?"  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
All of the authors, except for Balsk, were granted permission to the stage. It was just an enlarged bedroom, for all the authors. Say a rat entered, right? Well, we'd by as tall as them. You can imagine, you'd have to jump as high as you can to get to the bed's mattress.  
  
We started a vote for whose moves first. We reluctantly all voted for Mal, being to insane person she is.  
  
"*MY B MOVE IS COOL*!!!" she yelled. *REALLY* loud.  
  
She unsheathed a sword from her black armour, and then struck Jordiscy with it.  
  
"That wasn't very nice!" said Jordiscy, slapping Mal.  
  
"Neither was that!" said Mal, sheathing her sword and slapping her back.  
  
"Cat fight!!" yelled Phoodoo.  
  
"Now it's a fox fight," said Ashley, going between Mal and Jordiscy. She did her - B move. A flaming ball appeared. It engulfed all of the three authors and then 2 of them were burnt: Jordiscy and Mal.  
  
"O.o o.O" was the expression on our faces then.  
  
"Let's eat burnt sausages!" said Mal dizzily.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
That proves that Balsk is not a super beast! ***BEEP***ing hell, wait for the conclusion of it! 


	7. Kirbmaster, when your back from Chicago,...

UUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone, please hear this......... that I can't handle more than 50,000,000 reviews at once, so can you please just wait until chapter 10? Thanx! ^_^  
  
If no-one understands why Balsk had a shell, that's the cause of him being as strong as a super-beast, until that regeneration liquid was extracted from him.  
  
On with the story...  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"No, burnt sausages taste funny!" said a mysterious voice.  
  
"Huh?" Everyone spun around to see who this person was.  
  
"I am Ultimate Kirbmaster," said a ten year old boy, from where that voice came from.  
  
"Wow, nice name for a ten year old!! I'm almost rolling on the floor laughing my ***BEEP*** off!!" giggled Mal.  
  
"Oh, shutup!" sighed Ultimate Kirbmaster.  
  
But Mal just kept laughing her-  
  
Author Zornor: We can't beep in narration, so just *DON'T* read it!  
  
-off!  
  
"Stop doing that!" yelled U. Kirb.  
  
He was so angry he felt himself powering up a Kamehameha attack!  
  
Author Zornor: ::to audience:: I don't like Dragon Ball Z much... *BUT DRAGON BALL WAS JUST AWESOME*!!!!  
  
"Ka... me... ha... me... HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" yelled U. Kirb.  
  
"Uh-oh..." said Mal. But before she could roll to the side, the energy of the Kamehameha wave hit her, and she went flying out the door of the bedroom!!  
  
Fortunately, *AND* unfortunately, she came back onto the stage.  
  
"Great, why did she have to come back?" said U. Kirb.  
  
"Uh, welcome to the SSBM world!" I said, with tonnes of testy pops.  
  
"I already know where I am," said the boy.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I may look 10 years old, but, as a matter of fact, I'm actually millenials old!" explained U. Kirb.  
  
"Oh great," murmured Mal. "I bet he has tonnes more DBZ moves where that came from!"  
  
"Only a few," replied U. Kirb.  
  
"Oh... I see," said Jordiscy.  
  
"Hello, I'm still here!" said Siphon.  
  
"...we should see everyone else's moves."  
  
Because Siphon brought up the subject again, we got to see his moves. The cyborg brought out a light-sabre thingy. It looked like one of those sword things in Gundam Wing.  
  
Author Zornor: Well, bacon tastes nice, doesn't it?  
  
O.o . Anyway, yeh. He brought out his sword thingy, then a beam shot out somewhere at the tip of it, and it went right out the window!  
  
"Great move," said Phoodooman.  
  
"I agree," said Mage.  
  
"Right... whatever... how about my next move?" said Siphon.  
  
He held his sabre above his head, and flames boosted him up-wards (imagine that in SSB, lol!)  
  
"YAY!!!" yelled Mal, and deliberately fell off the bed, and fell unconcious. Then she came back up, which is great.  
  
Suddenly, Siphon's cyborg arm turned into a claw. It slashed, and hit Miana.  
  
"I'm *not* supposed to be the silent type, Author Zornor!!" demanded Miana.  
  
Author Zornor: How did you know I was here? -_-.  
  
"Anyway, this is my move!"  
  
"You have more than one move. Go figure, Sherlock!" said U. Kirb.  
  
"Jeez, you'd think that if he's millenials old he wouldn't say all that crap!" said Phoodooman.  
  
U. Kirb didn't react to that.  
  
Siphon's cyborg arm transformed into a laser, and he shot it towards Ashley.  
  
"*OW*!! That wasn't very nice!" yelled Ashley in pain.  
  
After a short amount of time, the laser wore away, before Siphon's hand was back in it's normal state.  
  
"I'm hungry, you guys. Let's get something to eat!" I said.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
They all followed... and the cafeteria was majorly upgraded!!  
  
There was tonnes more food, it looked better, and stuff.  
  
"Ok, did it just get magicly upgraded for SSBBD?" Jordiscy said, with her jaw almost literally on the ground.  
  
So we got stuff to eat.  
  
We actually found Balsk in there somewhere. He was eating this big chunk of meat. Knowing him, it was probably raw.  
  
"Let's not sit with him, his strong even without his shell," I said.  
  
"That's wise," said U. Kirb.  
  
We sat at the table that was furthest away from Balsk, which already had Roy, Captain Falcon and Luigi on it.  
  
"Hi authors!" said Luigi.  
  
"Uh, do you hate Balsk?" I said.  
  
"Well... I admire his strength..." said Kirby, who was squashed under U. Kirb.  
  
"Uh, sorry Kirby," said U. Kirb, standing up and looking at the flattened Kirby. So Kirby just sat on the only other vacent space.  
  
"No wonder that was comfortable!" joked U. Kirb. Most of us laughed, except for Mage.  
  
"Jeez, if you don't have a sense of humor, stick with Balsk!" said Siphon, staring at Mage.  
  
Mage did go to Balsk's table after that.  
  
Young Link came and sat with us.  
  
"Wow, never thought I'd see another ten-year-old other than Ness!" said Young Link.  
  
"Actually, he's kinda strange," said Miana. "He's thousands of years old!"  
  
"Oooo, I'd hate to see him in his real form!" said Luigi.  
  
"Yep... you'd hate it," I said. Half of us laughed hard, the others giggled a little.  
  
After a short moment of eating, Balsk stood up and yelled something.  
  
"No way! That's just crazy! They'd kill us!" Balsk yelled.  
  
After a while, he noticed everyone was staring at him. Slightly embaressed, he sat down.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"That was strange. Do you think he's up to something?" Bowser said.  
  
"I dunno," I replied.  
  
"Oh, yay," said Pikachu through his translator.  
  
"It sounded like he was building a plot," said Slywolf.  
  
"Where the heck have you been?" I asked.  
  
"Uh, just been hanging out with DarkMagnus."  
  
"Oh I see."  
  
"No one else is allowed to hang out with us, according to him. But I really disagree with that," he said.  
  
Suddenly, the crazy little rodent, Pichu, came flying around.  
  
"Doesn't that hurt Pichu?" I asked.  
  
"Only on a stage area!" he said.  
  
"Oh. Since your small Pichu, can you somehow spy on Balsk and Mage?" I asked.  
  
"Uh... only if you have lots of that food Brock cooks!" he said.  
  
"Alright, I'll try and get some of that."  
  
I went the the training session, and got 'lots of that food Brock cooks'.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"I've returned! Bwah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!!!" he laughed.  
  
"O.O How did a small mouse like you laugh for that long!!" I asked.  
  
"Since I have a translator, I can record 'hah hah hah hah' and play it back all over again!" he answered.  
  
"`~` I see..." I said. "Anyway, what did they say?"  
  
"They were talking about something... I managed to get a tape recorder, but the tape got screwed on the way back, but some of it you can still listen to!" he replied.  
  
He pressed the play button...  
  
"Balsk, we might... ... ...destroy Master... ... ... ... rule over the... ... ...authors."  
  
"Good idea, Mage. We... ... ...in 10.... Got it? ... days."  
  
"Man, we need to stop them!" I said.  
  
All that time, Balsk was behind me.  
  
"Little spies! If you want to join our little performance, just come and say so!" he said.  
  
"((O.O)) Performance?" I was holding laughter so powerful. "Sorry, I have to go to the bathroom!"  
  
I went to my room.  
  
Even from the room furthest from mine, the assembly hall, all the way on the stage you could clearly hear me laughing my heart out.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"That's it! I've had it with Zornor!" he said.  
  
"Please! Don't hurt him! I don't like revenge!" pleaded Pichu.  
  
"I'm going to duel him!" said Balsk.  
  
Author Zornor: Wait for Khellendros to say so!  
  
"Fine..." mumbled Balsk.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
So... yeh. That's chapter 8. Khellendros, should Balsk duel the Zornor in the story? Or, will he ignore him? Your choice. Oh, by the way, the shell was the reason why you thought Balsk was an uber-draconian. 


	8. The Dual

Hello everyone! I've finally updated the actual story. Khellendros has let Balsk fight S. Zornor (Story Zornor). So, I think I'll just start now!  
  
Just for the fun of it, I'll let Kirby take a bow!   
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Pichu came into my room.  
  
"Hi Pichu! How did Balsk react? ^_^" I asked.  
  
"Uh, I'd run!! He's really angry!" said Pichu.  
  
"Umm, ok, so what happened?"  
  
"Well, this!  
  
"A mysterious person appeared. Just a normal looking person. And then they threw a tape recorder at Balsk! Then the mysterious guy disappeared.  
  
"So Balsk picked up the tape and then pressed play on it. I got out *my* tape recorder to record off the recorder..."  
  
"Ok O.o," I inturrupted.  
  
"...and here's the message!"  
  
Pichu got his tape recorder and pressed play.  
  
**Balsk, I give you permission to battle Zornor. K? Just go!!**  
  
So, unexpectedly, Balsk slammed the door, and it went off it's hinges and fell on Pichu.  
  
"Owww..." groaned Pichu from under the door.  
  
"*ZORNOR!!! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*" yelled Balsk.  
  
"K. So? I have my plotholes..." I said, and I pulled bodyguards out of it.  
  
"I'm not afraid of them!" said Balsk.  
  
"Alright already, I'll fight your worthless bum!" I accepted.  
  
"What!"  
  
"I just said I'll fight you!"  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"So, what is it?"  
  
"A THREE MINUTE SUDDEN DEATH MATCH!!!" said Balsk.  
  
"Looks like someone's been watching too much Crush Gear Turbo!" snickered Ness.  
  
"Screw you and I hope your dog dies!" said Link. "Or more like your alien!"  
  
Mr Saturn, who was on Ness's shoulder, started crying.  
  
"You hurt his feelings!"  
  
"Look, we're getting off topic!" said Master Hand. "Just go to whatever stage. And whatever rules!"  
  
"HeLLo PeOpLeS, CrAzY HaNd Is HeRe!!?!!" said Crazy Hand.  
  
"I thought he was crazy, not insane O.o!" said Luigi.  
  
"Shutup and eat BoMbS!!?!!" threatened Crazy Hand.  
  
"Shoosh, you half-witted brother of mine!" ordered Master Hand. He then mumbles something about him not being able to believe Crazy Hand is his brother.  
  
"Alright, Zornor, you choose the rules!"  
  
"OK, a 2 life stock match, with no time limit!" I demanded.  
  
"That's in. What about items?"  
  
"No items, except for Beam Sword. Perhaps a sword-and-B-move duel would be good," I said.  
  
"Last thing, what about the stage area?"  
  
"Good point..." I think for a while before I burst out the answer: The Bedroom.  
  
"OK, so it's all set." He turns on the computer microphone and speaks into it: Teleport Balsk and Zornor to The Bedroom! Beam Swords only, in a 2 stock battle. No time limit.  
  
Rainbow-coloured light engulfed both of us until we were teleported to the bedroom.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Alright, Balsk, your not allowed to fight at all, other than with your B moves, until you have a Beam Sword!"  
  
"Fine, let's start!"  
  
The match started, as Balsk requested. From the spectator's box I could only hear 4 voices cheering for Balsk; they were likely to be Mage, Ganondorf, Bowser and Mewtwo.  
  
Balsk seemed to be the lucky and started on the bed, which happened to have a beam sword on it when we started. It was behind him, so he didn't notice or grab it.  
  
The Draconian's first move was to jump off the bed, while I ran near the edge and jumped up onto it. He tried to fall down then swipe me, but missed and fell on the ground.  
  
That was fortunate, knowing how strong he is.  
  
Since I jump pretty high, it only took 2 jumps. I had gotten the beam sword, which was starting to turn transparent. Balsk gasped when he saw me with the beam sword, but out of sheer crappy luck, a beam sword appear in front of him. He hadn't pulled him self up, so I threw the other beam sword at the other side of the level.  
  
"You bum head! Luckily I can still use my B move on the ledge!" he mumbled, but I couldn't see his mouth.  
  
Flames flicked out from his claws at fast speeds, and I didn't even get to flash my sheild before they had burnt me.  
  
"OW! THAT HURTS!!" I yelled.  
  
"Good!" said Balsk.  
  
In anger, I ran up to him and swung the beam sword at him. He dodged, but midway he got hit by it and flew off the bed. He didn't go out the door, but he was close to it. That's where a dog patrolled, and took you off the stage area if you went there.  
  
I could hear it's growling al the way from here! It was really loud.  
  
Suddenly, the door seemed to close. I saw Master Hand and Crazy Hand come from below the door, trying to squeeze through.  
  
"Could you- oof! -give us some- ouch! -help here?" asked Master Hand.  
  
"HaM TaStEs nIcE!!?!!" yelled Crazy Hand.  
  
"For once, I have to agree with you!" I said.  
  
"I WaS BeInG SaRcAsTiC!!?!!" he said.  
  
"Right... let's let the hands through!"  
  
But before Kirby could even do his taunt, Master Hand suddenly got pulled out from the back, but Crazy Hand seemed to remain there. Only for about 10 seconds though, before something pulled him under the door.  
  
"I WiLL Be aVeNgEd!!!!!!!!???!!!!!!!!!" shouted Crazy Hand.  
  
We heard some barking and some biting from behind the door.  
  
"*CANCEL THE MATCH AND SAVE ME!!!!!*" yelled Master Hand.  
  
The Spectator's box disappeared, but we didn't get anywhere. Only Kirby, U. Kirb, DarkMagnus (wonderful, he happened to be there!) and Slywolf!  
  
"Umm, ok, so why didn't we go!" said Slywolf.  
  
"I dunno!" said Ness from behind him.  
  
KirbmasterX: Luckily he didn't come from behind Ultimate Kirbmaster, Zornor!  
  
Author Zornor: Shutup and keep reading!  
  
"Oooh, Author wars!" said Pichu from behind DarkMagnus.  
  
"Why are we whining here, let's save Master Hand and Crazy Hand from the dog!"  
  
So we all went to the bedroom door and looked around the corner. (Hehe, imagine 8 small heads poking around an enlarged door! ^_^ )  
  
"Yay! ^_^"  
  
"What's making you so happy, Balsk?" asked Ness.  
  
"Master Hand is getting beaten up!" said Balsk, doing a little dance. (*THAT'S SO FUNNY WHEN YOU IMAGINE IT!!*)  
  
DarkMagnus started cracking up, but Slywolf, knowing how much he hates insanity, (Slywolf, don't trust the internet ;) ) just shrugged and said "bah".  
  
"Let's go save him, you guys!" I said.  
  
"Well, I'm not even going to scratch the dog!" said Balsk.  
  
"Balsk, you just gave me a really good idea!" I said.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Oh, no way on *EARTH* am I doing that!" said Slywolf.  
  
"You better, or all that will remain above your shoulders is a neck with nothing but smoke over it!" said Balsk.  
  
Everyone gives him the mean glare.  
  
"What did I do?" said Balsk, blushing a little.  
  
So Slywolf goes to the dog. Fortunately, for some dumb reason, he had a walkie-talkie.  
  
"Ok, Slywolf, where are you?"  
  
"Behind the dog's leg."  
  
"Does it smell?"  
  
"Like hen's teeth it doesn't!"  
  
"Hen's teeth don't smell because they don't exist!"  
  
"No, as in the chances are low of it *NOT* smelling!"  
  
"Oh I see."  
  
"What's the plan Einstein?"  
  
"Go behind it's ear!"  
  
"I can't tell, where that is, it's a black dog with a very *WEIRD* type of breed!"  
  
"Like you Slywolf."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Just go to the floppy things!"  
  
Slywolf or noneof us noticed, but the dog turned around as I said that!  
  
"Zornor, I fell off!"  
  
I burst out laughing and say "Well get back on!" into it.  
  
"Alright, I'm on. You said something about big floppy things, right?"  
  
"Yep!"  
  
"Well, you don't wanna know, but I'll give you a clue, this dog is male."  
  
There was a short pause before everyone reacted by saying "Ewww, gross!"  
  
"So where are you now, Slywolf? Slywolf? Uhhhh, Slywolf?"  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
YAY!! Chappie finish!  
  
Michael (my friend): ::starts humping pole::  
  
Me: Don't do that!  
  
Michael: It's good for your health!  
  
Me: Shutup! ::uses author's powers to remove pole and Michael from site.  
  
I hope you enjoyed that chappie! Glad 9 is finaly up? See what I wrote in Author's Note two! For no apparent reason! ^_^ 


	9. The Escape

Yes, I'm back! And I'm bigger than ever!!  
  
::admires fat belly::  
  
Phat: @_@  
  
Look funny for yourself!!  
  
Phat: O_o  
  
Start the story now!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Uhh, Slywolf? You there?"  
  
"No I'm not"  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Damnit, where the hell is Slywolf!" I said.  
  
DarkMagnus snatched the walkie-talkie from me and put his ear to the reciever.  
  
"Hey, Zornor, I /can/ hear something in it," he reported.  
  
"What?" asked Kirby.  
  
"Bumping noises... hang on, Slywolf is talking into it!"  
  
He threw the walkie-talkie back to me and I listened to him.  
  
"Guys, uh, you wouldn't believe where I am. I can see Master Hand and Crazy Hand in here," said Slywolf.  
  
"HeLLo fRoM CrAzY HaNd??!??" I heard the insane hand say his words of insanity.  
  
"Oh and Zornor."  
  
"Yes?" I replied.  
  
"There's also someone else in here."  
  
"Who?" I asked eagerly.  
  
"Uh, short brown hair... that's all I can see from here. Also looks a bit like a bum."  
  
"Umm, ask him if his name is KoRiN."  
  
"Ok."  
  
I leant against the gigantic wall and waited for Slywolf's reply.  
  
"Hello," said a familiar but looooong forgotten voice.  
  
"Uh, whozzat?"  
  
"KoRiN," he said.  
  
"KoRiN!!! How's it going!!?!!"  
  
"Shutup, you half-witted brother of mine."  
  
"I thought Master Hand said that!"  
  
"I ReSeNt tHaT!?!?!?!?" shouted Crazy Hand in the background.  
  
"I hate you too, Crazy Hand," I shouted into the speaker. "You know, I've forgotten to ask one of the simplest questions... *WHERE ARE YOU?!?!*"  
  
"Where am I? Lying in a dog's frigging stomach."  
  
"Avoid the liquidy stuff."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You'll get digested if that happens!"  
  
"Aah!"  
  
KoRiN turned off his walkie-talkie. I turned mine off too and whammed my head into the wall.  
  
"Damn- ow!- that stupid- ow!- dog!- ow!- Why I- ow!- oughta- ow!- put a- ow!- nuclear missle- ow!- down it's throat."  
  
"Calm down, Zornor," said Kirby.  
  
I turned my head around, showing a cartoonish-like mouth with teeth dangling down from the gums.  
  
"Stop the cartoonish expression and... do stuff," said Balsk.  
  
"I think Balsk is right," said U.K.. "You gotta stop beating the-"  
  
DarkMagnus covered his mouth.  
  
"What so I'm not allowed to say crap?" said U.K.. "I'm actually about 3000 years old in case you haven't noticed!"  
  
KirbmasterX: Yes, indeed Zornor, way way way WAAYY off character.  
  
Author Zornor: I try!!  
  
KirbmasterX: Sure you do...  
  
Author Zornor: *randomly turns into a pumpkin*  
  
KirbmasterX: O.o  
  
"Zornor's a pumpkin..." said Ness.  
  
Author Zornor: Ness is a pumpkin...  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! WOOF!!"  
  
Author Zornor: Oops, wrong spell! O.o  
  
Lemp: I HATE YOU!!!  
  
Author Zornor: Wow that was random... now stop this author conversation!  
  
Lemp: No, you-  
  
Author Zornor: Oh, I forgot, Lemp nor Phat are authors...  
  
Phat: THEN I SHALL WRITE A STORY!! *scribbles something on piece of paper* *shows 'masterpiece' to Author Zornor*  
  
Author Zornor: Uh, Phat, that's a crude drawing of a cat in the park.  
  
Phat: But-  
  
Author Zornor: *puts masking tape on Phat's and Lemp's mouths* Back to the story! Oh, and Ness is now not a dog. He's... back with the other Smashers.  
  
"I WILL-"  
  
"-not-"  
  
"-BE AVENGED!!"  
  
Ness disappeared, and everyone started laughing very loud.  
  
"Ok, let's save the Hands, Slywolf and my brother from the dog."  
  
"Ok, here's the plans, you idiots," said Balsk.  
  
"I resent that!"  
  
"Anyway, here's plan A. I will carry Zornor and Kirby to the dog's head.  
  
"U.K, Pichu and DarkMagnus will climb the rear leg."  
  
"I resent that!"  
  
"Stop resenting everything, Dark."  
  
"Fine.  
  
"And the rest will climb up the front legs."  
  
"Uh, Balsk?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, there is no one else."  
  
"@_@ Damn, I should've realized that."  
  
"Right, I thought 'professional' soldiers would be smart."  
  
"Shutup and carry out the plan."  
  
"Kentucky fried chicken!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.  
  
The dog suddenly ran over here. From another door, DarkMagnus, U.K and Pichu climbed up the leg of the dog.  
  
"Wow, it looks like their humping the leg! ^_^" said Kirby.  
  
Me and Balsk starting laughing a little.  
  
"Alright, let's go!" said Balsk, grabbing me and Kirby.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
Balsk flew us up and we saw the world as if we were normal-sized 7 year olds.  
  
Below we saw the dog with the other guys 'humping' it's leg.  
  
Author DarkMagnus: Shutup Zornor!  
  
"What did I do?" I said.  
  
We finally got to the dog's head. The others were almost on by the time we got there.  
  
"Alright, you two distract the dog, while I give orders to the others," said Balsk.  
  
"Sure thing."  
  
Kirby sucked in and flew over, while I ran with 5UP3R 5P33D.  
  
Lemp: *muffled* Mm mmm mm mmmm!  
  
I just sigh and go right in front of the dog's eyes. This dog had a broad face. So it was quite easy to stand on before it started barking.  
  
I tripped and didn't really actually get into it's eye. The dog shaked it's head. I was flung high into the sky, along with Kirby. The dog tried to eat me, but me and Kirby flew into it's nostrils.  
  
"Ow, you kicked me Kirby! %&#$!!!" I cussed.  
  
"Sorry!" he apologized.  
  
The dog started breathing in through his nose deeply, and we were sucked into his mouth. I hung onto the dog's tonsils, with Kirby doing the same.  
  
"Any ideas, Kirby?"  
  
Suddenly the dog started shaking and it opened it's mouth. Balsk and Pichu flew in, and DarkMagnus shortly followed.  
  
"Uh, guys, up here," I said.  
  
"Oh, so *there* you are," said DarkMagnus.  
  
"Get down from there, Zornor," said Balsk.  
  
"Fine, fine."  
  
I jumped from the tonsils, wall-kicked from the side of the wall and landed on the tongue with the others.  
  
"Your turn Kirby."  
  
Kirby sucked in some air and jumped as far as he could around to the tongue. He almost made it, but then the dog turned around, and we all lost our balance. I didn't see what happened to Kirby, but he actually managed to get on the tongue.  
  
As we lost our balance, Pichu fell down. He went down the dog's throat.  
  
"We got to save him!" I yelled.  
  
"But he's annoying!" whined DarkMagnus.  
  
"Mmmm... no."  
  
Everyone, even Balsk seemed to agree that we should save him.  
  
"Oh screw it, it's too late."  
  
We heard a faint voice, which was Pichu's translator yelling: "I'm still in your reach!"  
  
"Yay!!"  
  
"Kirby, do you have any powers that let you use a grappling hook?"  
  
"I do too. I stole it from the Wind Waker Link," said Kirby.  
  
"Uh, right..." I said.  
  
Kirby transformed, and he had a cartoonish Link hat on.  
  
He also had a grappling hook.  
  
"Kirby, poke it down the dog's throat," I ordered.  
  
"What if I don't want to?" he said.  
  
"*BECAUSE WE HAVE TO SAVE PICHU AS HE IS VITAL TO THIS PLAN FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON AT ALL!!*" I yelled in a demonic-voice.  
  
"O_O Right away sir!" he shivered.  
  
"Wow, demonic-voices are sure popular! O_o" said DarkMagnus.  
  
"Ok, well anyway, let's save Pichu!" I said determined.  
  
Author Zornor: Yes, indeed. The army of rubber chickens clashed against the army of rubber chikens.  
  
Phat: O_o  
  
Kirby sent the grappling hook down. Surprisingly, it took all of us just to pull up the rodent O_o.  
  
KirbmasterX: THE EVIL 'O_os' ARE INVADING THE MULITVERSE!!!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!  
  
Author Zornor: *demonic-voice* THAT HAD BETTER COME OUT PROPERLY, FAN- FICTION.NET!!!  
  
Fanfiction.net staff member: O.o  
  
Author Zornor: Anyway...  
  
Pichu had at last gotten back up.  
  
"All that time for nothing..." Balsk said randomly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Hold onto my back if you don't want to die!"  
  
Author Zornor: ::to Balsk in demonic voice:: THAT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT!!!  
  
Khellendros (did I spell that right? O.o): NEITHER WAS THIS!!! :: sends army of Draconians to Author Zornor::  
  
Author Zornor: Oh yeah, well watch this!!! ::sends army of walking bombs *AND* army of ham people to intercept the Draconian Army::  
  
And while they're having their war, we will continue!!  
  
We all went on Balsk's back, but he flew down into the dog's throat.  
  
"What the hell are you thinking! The gravity gets bigger inside one's stomach!!"  
  
Author Zornor: ::IMPORTANT NOTE:: That doesn't really happen in real life. . . . at least I think it doesn't! O_o  
  
"Then why aren't the others squished pancakes?" said Balsk.  
  
"Good point!! O_O" I said.  
  
But then the wind changed... and yes, the dog burped!!  
  
"Aaaah!!!" We all screamed. Balsk stopped flying, and we saw KoRiN, Master Hand, Crazy Hand and Slywolf behind us in the throat.  
  
In about two seconds we were out of the dog, and we flew all the way out to the door!  
  
"Good, let's search for a Gamecube in here!" I said.  
  
"But we all need to eat sandwiches first!! O_o" said Kirby.  
  
"Good point. But how do we get past the dog?" said Slywolf.  
  
"I can smash through the floor! ^_^" said Balsk.  
  
Khellendros: YOU GOT HIM FAR OFF PERSONALITY!!! ::sends more Draconians::  
  
Author Zornor: I still have my Teenage Mutant Ninja Chickens! ::sends the Teenage Mutant Ninja Chickens::  
  
Balsk smashed through the floor, and smashed again... and then landed right into a kitchen!! O_o  
  
"Follow meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!?!!" yelled Balsk from the pile of sugar he landed on.  
  
"Let's go!" said Slywolf.  
  
Balsk moved just in time to see me, Pichu, Kirby, DarkMagnus, Slywolf, Master Hand and Crazy Hand land piled up on the sugar O_o.  
  
"Uh, we need sandwiches now!" said Master Hand.  
  
Master Hand and Crazy Hand carried us to where the sandwiches were... IN THE BREADBOX OF DOOM!!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Yes, I am your father.  
  
TAKE 2  
  
Yes, I am insane.  
  
I hope you liked the cliffhanger there.  
  
Time to take the masking tape off Phat and Lemp.  
  
::takes it off::  
  
Phat: Finally! Hey, my mouth feels weird!  
  
Lemp: Let's go get some ham sandwiches!! ^_^;  
  
Phat: YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!  
  
6_6; Anyway, it wasn't really a cliffhanger there. It's just going to be a normal breadbox. . .  
  
::whistle::  
  
Oh, and here's a disclaimer just for you special Nintendo Lawyers.  
  
I don't own the Super Smashers  
  
But they are really cool,  
  
I don't why, I really don't,  
  
BUT I FEEL LIKE PLAYING POOL!!  
  
I really want to own them,  
  
It would be really great,  
  
To kill those flaming reviewers  
  
With a rusty wire gate!!  
  
Oh, just so you know Nintendo, I'm an insanity consultant O.o 


	10. The New Threat

Yes, it's what half of you have been waiting for!!  
  
Audience: snoooooze...  
  
It's, chapter 11!! What will happen with the breadbox of doom, we don't bloody know, for all bacon burgers!  
  
Audience: Huh?  
  
What about the fellowship of the ring? They screwed up...  
  
*goes through a portal and later comes back covered with blood and armor*  
  
Ummm, well, let's begin our journey. All ready, fellowship men?  
  
Me, Lurker, Phat and Lemp: Alright!!  
  
We shall leave now...  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Master Hand, drop us here," I said.  
  
Master Hand landed and opened his fist, while Crazy Hand went WAAAAAAAAY up to the ceiling and threw his load down.  
  
"HOLY GOOD GRANDMOTHER'S GRAVY!!!!!!!! THAT HURT SO MUCH!!!!!!" screamed Balsk, who was in Crazy Hand's load.  
  
"Crazy Hand, just don't do that again," said Mal.  
  
"MAL!?!?!"  
  
"Yeh, I just used random doughnut clocks to get here."  
  
"Umm, right..." I exclaimed.  
  
"Come to doughnut kingdom! And also come to think of it, Balsk was behind all of this," said Mal.  
  
"O_O *WHAT!!!* This was all Zornor for laughing really loud!" said Balsk.  
  
"No, Balsk, you were the one who didn't take the joke."  
  
For some weird reason, we saw Balsk edging away from us all.  
  
"Yeh, Balsk! Yeh, Balsk! Yeh, Balsk! Yeh, Balsk! Yeh, Balsk! Yeh, Balsk! Yeh, Balsk! Yeh, Balsk! Yeh- Pi, Pichu! Pi, Pichu!"  
  
"Huh, w-what happened to Pichu?"  
  
"Pi, Pi! Pichu Pi!"  
  
"Ummm, his translator broke," said KoRiN.  
  
"Well, that's just great, ain't it!" said Mal.  
  
"Indeed, my young slice of bread," said a booming voice.  
  
"Huh, what was that?" everyone said.  
  
"I am Bread-box Jinn. I am a Breadi Master."  
  
"WHAT!!"  
  
"Indeed, my young slice of bread."  
  
Author Zornor: 3 words: I was wrong. This breadbox is capable of deafening people! Shut your ears, morons!  
  
Everyone of us shut out ears. Fortunately for Master Hand and Crazy Hand, they could tell their, um. . . . . .ears. . . . . .weather to hear something or not.  
  
"Alright, Smashers, listen up! Get onto the edge of the breadbox," said Master Hand telepathically.  
  
I could faintly hear the breadbox repeatedly yelling 'Indeed my young slice of bread'.  
  
I raced onto the edge of the Breadi Master and sat on it. This held down his extremely insane jumping.  
  
I saw Master Hand also hold down the box, while Crazy Hand grabbed the handle and opened the box.  
  
"Aaah, can't stop carbon dioxide from rushing through!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" screamed the breadbox, right before it disintegrated, leaving a midget-sized loaf of bread. Just the size for us.  
  
"Alright! Bread eating time!" yelled Mal.  
  
We all unplugged our ears and ate sandwiches.  
  
"But how are we supposed to get up to the bedroom..." said Ultimate Kirbmaster.  
  
"I know! We use insanity rockets!!" I said.  
  
"UsE Me tHeN!!?!!" said Crazy Hand.  
  
"Sure... hey, that would actually work!" said Mal  
  
So we all clung onto Crazy Hand. Master Hand and Balsk went up by them selves.  
  
"5. . . 944. . . 142. . . 2. . . 1. . . DROP ON!!" yelled Crazy Hand.  
  
We all went whooshing up, and made another hole in the ceiling.  
  
"OWW!!!" we all exclaimed, as we got giant splinters.  
  
"Author powers, anyone?  
  
"Yeh, baby!" said Austin Powers.  
  
"WHAT!! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE!! O_O" said Balsk.  
  
"I got here from a little dream... hey, there are some beautiful chicks there!" said Austin.  
  
"AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! GET THE EVIL TERMITE AWAY FROM ME!! `~`" exclaimed Mal.  
  
So we randomly got healed and then Austin disappeared.  
  
And then Crazy Hand crashed into the Gamecube, and then the tornado appeared. All of us were sucked into the Gamecube, but then...  
  
Author Zornor: You idiot crew! That's the WIND WAKER DISC!!  
  
So then me and everyone else screamed really high-pitched, and then we saw the evil of...  
  
GANONDORF!!  
  
And of course, the graphics.  
  
Author Zornor: Alright, get back to the HQ.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
We all got to eat chicken and then get greeted by the rest of the smashers.  
  
"JAPANESE GIBBERISH!!" yelled Roy.  
  
"BLAH BLAH BLAH!!" said Marth.  
  
"Uh, Zornor, are those guys weird?" said U.K.  
  
"No poop, Sherlock!" I replied.  
  
"Welcome back-a, Zornor!" said Mario.  
  
"What exquized adventures did you face?" said Mewtwo.  
  
"WHAT!!" I exclaimed.  
  
As for the obvious reaction, everyone stared at me.  
  
"Well, anyway, we had to defeat a giant breadbox, a giant dog, and we met my brother..." I said.  
  
"Your brother?" said Luigi.  
  
"Yeh, his name is KoRiN, and he likes meditating."  
  
"BLAH!!" KoRiN tried to scare me.  
  
"YOU BUTT FACE!! I OUGHTA-"  
  
"Stop fighting you two, and get something decent done!" said Jordiscy.  
  
"Why don't you talk to someone else?" I whimpered.  
  
"O.o Ok, I will..." she replied.  
  
So, after a while, everyone calmed down, ate their veggies, brushed their teeth and went to bed early, except for me, DarkMagnus, Balsk and KoRiN.  
  
We were all drowsily walked to the cafeteria. We were almost half-asleep.  
  
We kept walking, casually waved to each other when we met, and continued going to the fridge.  
  
When we finally got there, we all had coffee, then...  
  
SPLAT!!  
  
"Who did that?" I said, rubbing my cheek.  
  
KoRiN whistled, Balsk shrugged and DarkMagnus was still rummaging in the fridge.  
  
I assumed it was KoRiN and threw a barrel full of wine at him.  
  
"Ow, you'll pay for that!" said KoRiN.  
  
"No, I won't!"  
  
Balsk accidentally hit the table with his wings, and salt and pepper went all over the place. Pizza was stacked on our faces, and some bread was in my mouth.  
  
"Why, you little!" KoRiN, DarkMagnus and me responded.  
  
Balsk gulped, and we threw packets of two minute noodles at him.  
  
Everyone else was waken up by all the noise, and came in to join the-  
  
"FOOD FIGHT!!" yelled Pikachu.  
  
"Let's have some fun!" said Pichu with his new translator.  
  
The kitchen was filled with pizza, cereal, milk, and lots of other things. It looked disgusting, but everyone got full from getting food in their mouth.  
  
But then Master Hand and Crazy Hand came in...  
  
"LET US JOIN IN!!" they yelled.  
  
Eventually, the windows and door cracks had been filled with bread, pizza, tomato and other various foods. And that meant that we were ankle deep in heaps of slushy food things.  
  
Olive oil and vinegar was spilt, and everything smelt sour.  
  
But we still fought, knee deep in slush.  
  
I climbed a mountain of garlic bread and threw all that at the authors.  
  
But then the Zelda cast started pelting bananas at me.  
  
Master Hand's white glove was now all mixtures of weird colors. Crazy Hand was the dirtiest. He had chip packets stuck to him.  
  
I made spears with various food scraps and threw them at people.  
  
I saw Mal get leftover sausages and threw them into Siphon's mouth.  
  
We all eventually ran out of caffeine energy. We all aimed for the fridge. I got the only coke bottle. But then Mal pushed me and then Mario grabbed it. But then the Ice Climbers hit the bottle with their mallets, and then Mewtwo got the bottle.  
  
After a long cycle, the bottle was cut by the clumsy Young Link and then it went all over the floor.  
  
"((O_O))"  
  
Everyone stared at disbelief at this. Nobody ever blamed Young Link for that, but we all just cried. No caffeine products were left. So we had to make sloppy, wet beds with all this food, as the scraps had dried in all the cracks and windows.  
  
"Aww, man! This is all someone's fault, but that fight went for so long, I forgot who." said Miana.  
  
"Indeed, my young slice of bread," I said.  
  
Everyone who didn't experience the breadbox battle just stared at me.  
  
While they were staring, the others were staring at a light just in the corner of the room.  
  
"I AM THE KING OF FRANCE!!!"  
  
That was exactly what I heard from the corner of the room.  
  
"IS THAT YOU, SILVA!!" I said loudly.  
  
"What's up your nose, paper?" he replied.  
  
Author Zornor: Yes, Silva.  
  
"Ok, just as long as I'm not."  
  
"O_o What the hell is wrong with you?" I said.  
  
"Nothing, but I would if I was sane!" he said.  
  
"INSANITY COMP!! Do you like boogers?" said Mal.  
  
But then black light appeared, and out stepped two seven year old kids.  
  
"Aaah! Not Demokin and Damokin!" said U.K.  
  
"Umm, then which one is Demokin?" said Captain Falcon.  
  
"I'm Demokin! And your dead!" said the girl.  
  
"I'm Damokin! And she stole my line!" said the boy.  
  
Purple light appeared in their fingers, and they shot it at the ground, which sent us all flying.  
  
"OOF!!" we all grunted, as the whole group of Smashers hit the door with such force to break it.  
  
"Haha, what weaklings," said Damokin.  
  
"Even those sixteen year old wimps can't face us!" said Demokin.  
  
All of the Smashers got angry. Silva was the first one to go out.  
  
He pulled out a pogo stick, bounced towards Demokin, and threw greyish stuff at her. She only twitched her eye.  
  
Silva went even angrier, and his crazy tuxedo was heaps messier.  
  
"Haha, little monkey man angry!" said Damokin.  
  
"Little monkey found, little monkey lost!" taunted Silva.  
  
Damokin then charged at Silva, but Silva dodged, and then shoved bacon in his mouth!  
  
Damokin got seriously annoyed, and could only muffle out words while dizzily walking back to Demokin. He tripped over a packet of meat pies, and left Demokin to eliminate Silva.  
  
Demokin teleported to Silva and fired a energy ball at Silva. But Silva pulled out a cucumber dressed as a soldier and deflected the ball right back at the demon child.  
  
Demokin smashed right next to Damokin. Then Silva sprinted through the mush and span on his head, grabbing the two while at it and smashing them into cupboards in the kitchen.  
  
The two kids looked as though unconscious, but they were actually conscious.  
  
"Look out Silva! They're faking!" said U.K.  
  
But it was too late. Demokin had hastily gotten up and powerfully punched Silva right through the kitchen door. Damokin then teleported in front of the kitchen door, grabbed Silva, and spun him around until his legs hit the edge of the door.  
  
Silva was dazzled and semi-conscious.  
  
Peach, out of randomness, grew her hair two times longer, was glowing with energy and as bitchy as ever.  
  
Everyone, including Demokin and Damokin, looked as though they were about to have an 'accident'.  
  
Super Peach pulled out a frying pan, and at light speed, flew over the Demokin and hit her so hard and fast, that her head looked like it was always in the same position.  
  
Damokin was sneaking up behind Super Peach, but then Super Peach kicked him, did Super Peach Bomber on him and threw him into Demokin.  
  
I, however, was so annoyed at how a princess could do that, and that's when it first struck in the Smasher HQ.  
  
Hydranor.  
  
Hydranor was just a transformed version of me. The bottom half is human, the top half is Hydra. In this form, I speak a demonic voice.  
  
You think it's weird? Trust me, it is.  
  
I didn't harm Super Peach with that, but everyone immediately ran into the corners to pee their pants. I picked up Demokin and Damokin in Hydranor's beak-like mouth and threw them down. They went down storeys and storeys and heaps more storeys. It was so hard to see them now.  
  
I turned back into normal Zornor and saw everyone shitting their pants, staring at me in awe and drop their jaws right down to the ground, almost literally.  
  
We all grabbed buckets, scooped the mush, and just for fun, chucked it down the huge hole into where Demokin and Damokin fell. We could hear groaning and ranting as they were covered in filthy mush. Then, they teleported to god-knows-where and shot a energy beam right up before they left.  
  
Koopa Troopas put up blocks to prevent anyone from falling down the hole, and then we all realised it was about 3 in the morning! So we all got a huge day/night rest after that huge incident.  
  
So, everyone told me to carry the people who were already asleep to their rooms. I threatened I would turn into Hydradiog, who's MUCH worse then Hydranor.  
  
Then everyone else dragged themselves to bed.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Big fight!!  
  
How did you like that chapter?  
  
The Fellowship of Starting Chapter 11: It was indeed excellent.  
  
^_^ Thanks!  
  
Requests will be taken in Chapter 12. If you read the next paragraph, you will notice that this was actually chapter 10.  
  
I decided to count the first author note, just to get in characters from people who didn't annoy me.  
  
By the way, you can still request double-team attacks. They will not be used on the booga-booga arenas. In other words, you don't need to say what move it was.  
  
Ugene, I might not put yours in. I guess those kinds of pistols and stuff just DON'T fit in. Dyson will not be included. I'm sure you don't watch Trigun all the time on Adult Swim. I never watch that anyway.  
  
Sorry!  
  
Master Link, I read your bio and you didn't say weather this was B and weather this was B or whatever.  
  
Maybe Ugene, you could create one that suits an insane story like this, and ML, you might want to eat cheese and tell me what buttons are on your thing.  
  
Doth thou understandth?  
  
Zornor.  
  
*takes off armor and throws it at KirbmasterX*  
  
KMX: EVIL METAL FROM SLIMEY CHICKEN MAN!!  
  
Indeed, KMX. 


	11. The Power of One Scepter Enfused with Ot...

Thanks for the five reviews, you guys. *pokes tongue out*  
  
Anyway, here's the eleventh chapter of The New Smasher. The Power of One Scepter Enfused with Other's Sprits is this chapter's title.  
  
God will I need a rest next chapter. Only two requests per chapter, you guys. You're overloading me and I won't get anything done if you keep requesting.  
  
Audience Member: E-excu-u-use me...  
  
*turns into Hydranor* WHAT!!  
  
Audience Member: C-can I use the-  
  
*eats audience member whole and turns back to normal*  
  
I'm not that hungry anymore, you know.  
  
Jq1790, try to give your character a name instead of forcing me to keep typing your author name!!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
I woke up to an early start, forgetting that I was covered in complete slush and had witnessed two of the most powerful warriors in the cosmos being defeated by me.  
  
And I only had these small writing powers.  
  
I had a shower, washed my face and went to the cafeteria.  
  
The only person there was U.K.  
  
"Hi Ultimate Kirbmaster," I greeted.  
  
"G'morning," he responded.  
  
"You're wise and all U.K.," I said. "Do you know about how I got that power to throw two demons about 20 floors down a building?  
  
"It's from a race called the Hydras," said Kirb. "They gave that ability to turn into a Hydra or Semi-Hydra. It only works if they're annoyed."  
  
"Right, so if I get annoyed, I have great power and stuff," I said.  
  
"Yes, that's it," said Kirb. "But that's not enough to defeat the demon youth."  
  
"I could have guessed that," I said.  
  
Bowser and Mr Game and Watch entered.  
  
"Hey guys," I said.  
  
"Yo," said Bowser.  
  
Mr Game and Watch beeped.  
  
"You're the person I'd least expect to see up this early, Bowser," I said.  
  
"I get up early for breakfast and a plan to capture the Mushroom Kingdom," he said.  
  
"I guess there's no point in waking up early then," I smiled.  
  
Bowser raised his eyebrow and sat with Mr Game and Watch in the complete opposite table.  
  
"Anyway, how is it possible to defeat them then?" I asked.  
  
"There's a sceptre..." said U.K. "The holder can borrow energy from the ones around him. It is powerful enough to block any blow, to destroy any material, only if it has enough. The holder can only be pure of heart."  
  
"Wow, think we should get it?" I said.  
  
"We should organise an expedition," said U.K. "I recommend we take Kirby and Young Link."  
  
I smirked and said, "I reckon a couple of other authors would complete the group."  
  
"Good idea," answered U.K.  
  
Then an author appeared right in front of us and fell off the table! She screamed and fell off the table.  
  
"O_o Well that was absolutely fantastic!" she said, rubbing her head.  
  
"What's you name?" I asked.  
  
"Trillian Astra," she said. "And your name must be Retard."  
  
I smiled. "I see you have a sense of humor."  
  
"Humor shmumor," Trillian said. "Just tell me why I'm here and why Ness is just down there with spikey hair."  
  
"He's not Ness! He's U.K.!" I yelled.  
  
"Oh, so he's the United Kingdoms!" she said and she calmed down.  
  
Trillian Astra sat down at the table.  
  
"So what am I doing here?" she asked.  
  
"Well, have you ever played a game called Super Smash Brothers Melee?" I asked.  
  
"Yes, and it rot stunk. Unless you're talking about SSBM!" she said.  
  
"Wow, that made tonnes of sense," I said sarcasticly.  
  
"Sense is like pie," she said. "I have no darn idea why though."  
  
Everyone that could hear laughed, and that included Young Link, Kirby and Ashley who sat at the table. Link and Mario went and sat with Bowser and Mr G&W.  
  
"Ok, everyone we recommend is here!" said Kirb.  
  
"What are you talking about?" said Young Link.  
  
"We're going to get a sceptre," I said. "I don't know what it's called, but it's like the Master Sword... except... it must be way more powerful. And we don't even know what it's called yet,"  
  
"If we're a mile away from it though, I should be able to sense it," said U.K. "The pure of heart can only harness it's power."  
  
"Darnit, I was thinking of getting it," said Young Link.  
  
"They also have to be older then 1000!" said U.K.  
  
Young Link just drooped down.  
  
"C'mon you guys, now that we've orgnaised our group, we should pack up now," said Kirby.  
  
KoRiN then came into the cafeteria.  
  
"Why are you guys just all there?" he said.  
  
"We're going to go on a expedition to find a sceptor," said Ashley. "And it's magical too."  
  
"Oh well, I need to eat," said KoRiN, stacking up trays of food and eating them all.  
  
"O_o Wow, you must be hungry," I said, loading up three trays.  
  
"Speak for yourself," said Ashley.  
  
Kirby then sucked up the rest.  
  
"-_-;; Kirby!!!" everyone said.  
  
"Wha... what happened?" he said.  
  
"YOU SUCKED UP ALL THE FOOD!!" everyone said, hitting him with anime mallets.  
  
"Alright you guys... -_-; ...just calm down. We can open a portal to the Great Fox and ROB can take us there," said Fox.  
  
"Are you coming on the actual adventure?" said Kirb.  
  
"No, but I'd be glad to drop you off," he said.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Fox had the Great Fox prepared. We strapped on and held on for the flight.  
  
"Uh, where exactly are we going?" said Fox, rolling his chair over the console to put in the co-ordinates.  
  
"Uh, try Phonolite IIX," said Kirb.  
  
"Ummmm, I've never heard of that," said Fox. "I'd better ask ROB."  
  
I was focusing on something else. I could hear noises... it sounded like someone walking across metal.  
  
Well what else could it be? Someone is trying to stray on the ship.  
  
I saw a black figure make a quick movement for the cockpit. He slid across the shadows. And &FWAMP!!& Fox was hit in the face by the unknown figure.  
  
"Who art thou!" said the figure."I am thine commander now!"  
  
"No your not, your just some wannabe who wants to gain power!" said Young Link.  
  
"Enough!" said the figure, pulling out a jagged sword. "I support the Demons and the demons will I only take orders from!"  
  
I unbuckled my seatbelt and kicked him straight in the face.  
  
"You dare... challenge me?!" he said, recovering from the blow and punching me in the face. "Pathetic," he scoffed.  
  
Kirby started hitting at him. Kirby sucked up the figure and copied his power. Kirby pulled out another jagged sword and a huge sword fight commenced.  
  
"Dare face me?" said the figure, slashing at Kirby.  
  
"Yes, you coward," smiled Kirby, blocking the moves. "Reveal your face before I destroy you!"  
  
The figure removed it's mask to reveal a head with grey skin and black hair. His eyes were red, reflecting his hate and anger, and pointy ears.  
  
"Get a life," said Kirby. "Stop spraying your face with paint!"  
  
"You think that the great warrior, known as Hadroga, would spray his face with paint!?" he said, swiping his sword at Kirby.  
  
Kirby only just dodged a stab and cut off Hadroga's leg.  
  
It simply came back straight away!  
  
"Regeneratable limbs?" said Kirby. "Time for some boiling oil. Young Link, you continue the sword fight!"  
  
Young Link blocked a move that Hadroga swung at Kirby. Kirby then got his chemistry set and started making boiling oil.  
  
Young Link swiped at Hadroga's arm and kicked him in the crotch. Hadroga squirmed and grabbed his 'jewels'.  
  
"Link," yelled Kirby. "Catch!"  
  
Young Link caught a bucket of boiling oil and poured it over Hadroga's arm and discontinued it's growth.  
  
Hadroga screamed in pain.  
  
"I'll be back," said Hadroga. "And there'll be no doubt about it!"  
  
His body swirled around and around like a portal and then disappeared in a small flash.  
  
"Good job, you two," said Kirb. "That's another bad guy to look out for."  
  
"He's a silent one," said Ashley.  
  
Fox got up and looked at us.  
  
"What happened?" he said.  
  
"Well, we were sitting here, Hadroga punched you in the-"  
  
"O_O HADROGA?!" said Fox.  
  
"What is wrong?" said Trillian. "You recovered from amnesia?"  
  
"No, he was the former owner of this ship, the Great Fox..." started Fox. "He was a ship dealer before he turned into a demon follower...  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++FLASHBACK!+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Hey, James, how are you!" said Hadroga.  
  
"Well, thanks. Do you have any ships I could buy?" said James.  
  
"Yep, a large one for just 50 chiry!" said Hadroga.  
  
Author Zornor: I don't know the bleedin' currency in the Lylat System, ok?!  
  
(The ship was in very good condition. My dad saw the ship without it's emblem 'StarFox' painted on it.)  
  
"Wow, that's a beauty," said James. "I'll take it."  
  
(As you might know, in the prologue of our game Lylat Wars, my father tried to destroy Andross and his army. When they got to Venom, Pigma betrayed him and dad ended up in the hands of Andross with Peppy.)  
  
Peppy jumped into his Arwing. Lasers were firing at him. One was about to hit him but he ducked and rolled under his Arwing and backflipped into it. He put the cockpit glass over himself and flew away, narrowly dodging lasers and other assorted weapons.  
  
(Peppy told us about Andross and my father. I destroyed Andross and escaped with my father back to Corneria. Peace was with us for a while. We had gotten there with the Star Fox, of course. Then, the worst thing happened...)  
  
James had settled in his new home on Corneria. It was a large house. It was rubble when Wolf and his darn goons killed my father and destroyed his home.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"That was when Hadroga turned evil after hearing of his death..." said Fox. "He's trying to get revenge on me for not protecting him and all around me."  
  
"So just because you weren't there to protect James," said Ashley. "He's trying to kill you?"  
  
"Yes. And the Super Smash Brothers..." said Fox.  
  
"And sisters," said Trillian, smirking.  
  
"Now it's time to get our sceptre!" said Kirb. "We will deal with him after we've retreived it."  
  
Fox asked ROB where Phonolite IIX was and started the engines to go.  
  
"Setting co-ordinates. here we go!" said Fox, strapping on his seat belt and securing his seat to the floor.  
  
Suddenly I jerked back and the hatches closed. I looked out the window and saw the lights of the hanger flash by the Great Fox. I leaned forward and looked out the cockpit window and saw the hanger doors opening. When we were outside, I quickly looked to the side window again.  
  
It was not what I expeceted. Lights were flashing all over the place. Purple ones. And they didn't look like normal ones. The landscape behind the lights was black.  
  
I saw Kirb concentrating in his thoughts in the seat next to mine. That had to be Demokin and Damokin  
  
"The others will have to hold those kids off," I said to Kirb.  
  
"I'm afraid so," said Kirb. "We have to hurry with the sceptor." He turned to look at Fox. "Fox, is it possible to go any faster?"  
  
"Yes, if you want the engine to melt," said Fox.  
  
"We will all melt along with the rest of the Smashers and the universe if we don't hurry!" said Kirb.  
  
He was right. Fox sped up the Great Fox.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
It was a few hours later that we finally saw Phonolite IIX.  
  
"There she is, guys," said Kirby. "Phonolite IIX."  
  
It was a dark green planet; black fog blanketed it's atmosphere. It was moisterous too; greeny blue seas scattered across the terrain.  
  
"It looks like the kids haven't been here," said Ashley.  
  
We eventually touched down on the planet, near one of the large lakes.  
  
It was a swampy environement, almost like a rainforest too. Vines connected trees, fungus hung from the tallest vegetation and small animals scattered from the spaceship.  
  
"Not really the place I expected for a sceptre to be," said Trillian. "But it's great."  
  
UK sat down on the cleanest rock visible and started concentrating again. We stared at him for a few seconds, then went onto other things. I smiled, and ate a cookie that I randomly got out of somewhere.  
  
It was a few minutes later that Kirb finally opened his eyes and stood up.  
  
"Yes, it's over there," said UK, pointing to the left of the Great Fox.  
  
"But that's towards the lake!" said Young Link.  
  
"We're swimming, I bet," said Trillian.  
  
"Not if I can help it!" said Kirby, pulling out a WarpPhone. (Ok, I think that's what it's called. it's from Kirby 64.)  
  
He dialled 7827 2628 'StarBoat' and then completely out of nowhere, a Kirby- themed boat appeared.  
  
"O_o Time to leave, eh?" said UK.  
  
We all jumped in the boat and Kirby started the engine and drove us the the direction where the sceptre was.  
  
I lay down on deck and started to fall asleep. It was very soon that I woke up when a big splash filled my ears. Water swooped down on the boat and everyone got wet.  
  
I finally looked up and saw a giant monkey/fish hybrid. A mermonkey!  
  
"O_O What the heck is that?" said Trillian.  
  
"A mermonkey?" I suggested.  
  
No point to suggest, as the giant amphibian opened it's mouth and was about to swallow the boat when it suddenly stopped, jerked back and swam back in the lake. We were bailing out the water from the boat when I saw a flash. Another flash. Then Demokin and Damokin appeared!  
  
"Hey, it's mister dragon head!" said Demokin.  
  
"Yeah, stupid moron," said Damokin. "I can't believe your not as strong as your other form!"  
  
"Well, prepare to meet my fist," I said, attempting to punch them, getting a aim right in the stomach and sending them back.  
  
"I've met it, sad it's going to die already," said Demokin, charging up a ki blast.  
  
"Dragonball Z references?" I said, jumping up and forcing her to miss. (I forgot who's male or female.)  
  
"You won't have any balls once we're finished with you!" said Damokin, charging at me.  
  
I stood ready and dodged to the side, thinking R + Right. I managed to dodge, but he was about to destroy the boat. But Kirb was lucky to charge up a Masenko and shoot it at Damokin.  
  
"Well, that attempt sucked, Demokin!" said Damokin, breathing heavily from Ultimate Kirbmaster's attack.  
  
"Give up? You weakling!" scoffed Demokin, teleporting back to the Smash planet.  
  
"They went to Smash planet," said Kirb. "We should hurry more."  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Master Hand, those demon children are heading fast towards us," said Yoshi, looking through the binoculars.  
  
"How should you know? All I can see are purple lights."  
  
"Look higher then that, Mr Fingers."  
  
Master Hand looked up and saw Demokin and Damokin bombarding the planet with ki bombs.  
  
"Well, we are dead," said Captain Falcon. "Remember what they did to us in the cafeteria?"  
  
"All hope is lost." said Master Hand. "Only the pure of heart would be able to save us."  
  
"Makes me think, where's Kirby?" said Jigglypuff.  
  
"Where's my younger self?" said Link.  
  
"Where's the new author?" said Mario.  
  
"Where's Ashley?" said Miana.  
  
"Where's Zornor?" said Mal.  
  
"They-a can't-a be dead, I-a can-a just feel-a it." said Luigi. "I-a don't know-a how, I-a can-a just-a feel it."  
  
"That's-a very true," said Dr Mario.  
  
"PiE Is fAnTaStIc!!!?" said Crazy Hand, breaking the drama.  
  
Everyone bursted out laughing and started rolling on the floor. It was a few minutes later that they realised that the headquarters was rumbling, and the light was getting more and more intense by the second.  
  
"Oh crud," said Pikachu.  
  
"It's too blinding." whined Ness.  
  
"Once the windows start breaking, we attack!" said Master Hand.  
  
Then the windows immediately started breaking.  
  
"Alright, Smashers and Authors, attack!" ordered Master Hand.  
  
"Mighty Pickle army, attack!" commanded Silva.  
  
"Moblin army, attack!!" yelled Ganondorf.  
  
"Koopa army, attack!!" ordered Bowser.  
  
It was only a matter of time that the whole group of Smashers, Authors and Armies started attacking, bravely jumping into the blinding light and facing the demon children.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"We need to hurry," said UK, pulling the sceptre out of the ruins.  
  
It was shaped like a crown at the end, bridging down to the rod. Four rubies were embedded in the pure gold sceptre. It even glowed a bright yellow color. It looked like nothing could take the shine out of it!  
  
"In a hurry?" said Hadroga, jumping down from the treetops.  
  
"Not you again," sighed Ashley.  
  
"Me again," smirked Hadroga.  
  
"Won't be seeing you again after this," said UK. "Everyone, put your belief into the sceptre!"  
  
I concentrated on the sceptre. I knew UK could win with this. Hadroga wouldn't stand a chance.  
  
The sceptre glowed even more just then.  
  
"What's happening?" said Hadroga, interested at the glowing sceptre.  
  
"You don't dare even follow the paths of evil EVER!!" said UK, readying his sceptor for a blow.  
  
"Follow the laws of forces," said Hadroga, slashing at UK.  
  
The sceptre immediately blocked the attack. UK didn't even fall back a bit from the impact. Too bad for Hadroga, the forces got to him and he smashed through the remaining wall of the ruins.  
  
"You cheap retard!" said Hadroga, immediately getting up and charging at UK.  
  
It was too simple for Kirb. He swung the sceptre right into Hadroga's stomach, which sent him flying far away. We then saw dust and trees flying up and Hadroga attempt to smash UK right in the face. He only broke his fist on the sceptre. His hand throbbed with pain and he hopped back.  
  
UK then smashed him over the head with the sceptre. Not enough to kill him, but render him unconscious.  
  
"He doesn't have any good in him," said UK. "He's too dangerous in this universe to live any longer."  
  
We won't go into any detail. NO DETAIL FOR YOU!!  
  
"Ok," said UK. "Let's leave for the Smash planet.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
The Master Hand was crushing and mushing Demokin and Damokin. But try as he might, the ruins of the Smash HQ were not what he wanted. He wanted to win. And pure evil was no exception.  
  
"DIE NOW!!" yelled Master Hand, trying to grab Damokin and squash him in his fists.  
  
Damokin took it simple and flew to the right.  
  
Mario did his Up B attack on Demokin. Captain Falcon flew up in his F-Zero racer but missed and crashed into the ruins.  
  
"You are pathetic," said Demokin. "How about this move?"  
  
He charged up a huge, purple ki blast and sent it directly at the Smashers, the Authors and the Armies!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Oooooooooooooooooo, cliffhanger!!  
  
Lurker: You're a cliffhanger.  
  
Wow, that made lots of sense.  
  
Lemp: RECYCLING!!  
  
More like PIE!!  
  
Lemp: Oh yeah.  
  
Oh crap, it's almost the end of the story. No more requests will be taken. sorry everyone, I know you all wanted to get your characters in. But look out for the sequel.  
  
Smash-o-mania I: Unknown Pies  
  
And remember. GO DEXTER FAMILY GO!! 


	12. Party for Pizza DAEMOKIN'S NOT IN THIS D...

Finally, the action-packed, horror-filled, suspense-giving, super-romantic, ultra-dramatic and insane chapter 12 is here! ^__________^  
  
Anyway, the mystical pizza is waiting for the new chapter.  
  
What will the giant ki blast do to the Smashers and the authors? And the armies too; will that many insane citizens be destroyed? Find out on this chapter of.  
  
The New Smasher!  
  
Lurker: Dragon Ball Z references.  
  
Great Insane Randomo: Shutup.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"There's a huge energy source coming from the Smash planet," said UK. "We had better hurry."  
  
"Suppose we could stick the scepter in the engine to make it go faster?" said Trillian.  
  
"Uh, what?" said Kirby.  
  
"We need fuel," said Fox.  
  
"There's no time!" said Ashley.  
  
"Yeah, try that sceptre," said Young Link.  
  
"It's our only hope if that's a giant ki blast," I said.  
  
"Ok, same process as before," said UK. "Believe in the scepter's power."  
  
UK unbuckled his seat belt and went to the engine room.  
  
I believed this could go faster. We were going to defeat Demokin and Damokin.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Prepare for impact!" yelled Slywolf.  
  
"WE ARE!!" said Mal.  
  
"Anyone got any ideas from the past." sighed Master Hand.  
  
"I know!" answered Mal. "Remember Austin? I can call him and he can block the blast!"  
  
"O_o Right." said Balsk.  
  
"SANITY PILLS!!!" said Crazy Hand.  
  
"You should take them," said Dr Mario.  
  
"DRINK STEAK!!?!!" shouted Crazy Hand.  
  
"Ok, time for some Dragon Ball Z references!" said Miana.  
  
"That was random," said Mario.  
  
"No seriously, look up there!" said Miana.  
  
"Oh my goodness, is that what I think it is." said Master Hand.  
  
"IT'S A COMET!" said Link.  
  
"It's cheese!" said Donkey Kong.  
  
"I'm a loner!" said Captain Falcon.  
  
"O_o It's the Great Fox!" said Falco.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Crap, there's nothing left of the HQ," said Kirby. "You have not an idea how long that took, and back then there was only like 12 Smashers when we built that."  
  
"You'll have lots more," I said.  
  
"Except Master Hand would want more then what we just had," said Young Link.  
  
"Oh, fantastically great," said Ashley.  
  
UK jumped out of the ship and teleported right where the giant ki ball was.  
  
"O_O What are you doing?" yelled Trillian.  
  
"He knows what he's doing," I said.  
  
"Uh, jumping right in front of a giant ball?" said Fox.  
  
We finally landed and ran over to where the Smash Bunker was, where all the Smashers were hiding.  
  
"O_O You guys came back?" said Slywolf.  
  
"Don't think we'd leave you," I said.  
  
I looked out the window and saw UK's figure, charging up a giant ki blast.  
  
"MASENKO!!!" he yelled, and fired the beam straight at the giant purple ball.  
  
His blast being blue made the ball look indigo. Demokin and Damokin, however, were seemingly unaware of the Masenko. But they weren't however, and the giant ball dissolved right when the ki blast was about to hit them in the face!  
  
"Wow, they had no chance then," said Miana.  
  
"I like slimey CHEESE!!" said Silva.  
  
Demokin and Damokin obviously weren't destroyed, but they were minorly hurt.  
  
"Melee time?" said UK, smiling.  
  
"1 verses 1," said Demokin.  
  
"Alright, battle starts now!" said UK, pulling out the scepter.  
  
"You think that whelp of a scepter can defeat me?" said Demokin, firing a small ki blast at UK.  
  
UK easily dodged it by flipping to the side and held the scepter out to Demokin.  
  
"You think that you stupid powers can destroy the powers of many beliefs?" said UK.  
  
"Everyone, believe in the scepter!" I said.  
  
"HOW COULD THAT CRUMMY SCEPTER DEFEAT THOSE TWO OVERLY-POWERFUL TWERPS!" said Ganondorf.  
  
"Shutup Ganondorf," I replied. "You have magic in your world. And same here. Believe that this scepter can destroy this evil!"  
  
Ganondorf nodded and sat down.  
  
Everyone sat down in fact and stared at the scepter.  
  
"This reminds me of something," said Link. "Whenver someone made a lame joke in swordsman school, we would stare at a streamer."  
  
"O_o" said Mal.  
  
"Shutup, myself!" said Young Link.  
  
Everyone started laughing, including Young Link.  
  
After the gags and giggles, everyone looked at UK and the scepter. He was dodging and hitting, dodging and hitting. Always the same process and the same progress. He hadn't majorly hurt the kin in about ten minutes!  
  
"KABOOM!" yelled a monster that randomly appeared in the middle of the room.  
  
"The Lurker?!" I said.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing here?" said the Lurker.  
  
"Being a Smasher," I said.  
  
"Shutup," said the Lurker. "I'm here to tell you that explorer people back on Earth found a fountain, that might be useful for changing moves."  
  
"Ok," said Mal. "How do we reach the chicken pie?"  
  
"You should after katana kid there finishes off the arrogant apes," said the Lurker.  
  
"HEY!" said Donkey Kong.  
  
"While you're here," said Miana. "You should believe in the scepter thing there."  
  
"Uh, sure." said the Lurker.  
  
"Alright now, why do we have MORE Starcraft references?" said Master Hand.  
  
Then the SCV appeared again.  
  
"BOYS!! BOYS!! BOYS!! BOYS WILL BE BOYS!!" it sang and disappeared.  
  
"O.o How many times do you think you'll hear that?" said Bowser.  
  
Then EVERY single unit in Starcraft and the expansion appeared, except for the Lurker.  
  
"BOYS!! BOYS!! BOYS!! BOYS WILL BE BOYS!!" they all sang and disappeared again.  
  
Everyone was about to faint, except for Ness, who fainted.  
  
"Weak runt," said Kirby.  
  
"Nobody likes me," said Captain Falcon, hollering in a corner.  
  
"KirbmasterX references," said the Lurker.  
  
KirbmasterX: No more torture for Captain Falcon.  
  
Captain Falcon: *in KMX's story* Yay!  
  
KirbmasterX: Instead, you are going to be locked in the isolation chamber!  
  
Captain Falcon: ;_;  
  
"BELIEVE IN THE SCEPTER MORE!!" yelled Silva.  
  
The scepter glowed more then ever. In fact the wasteland ruins of the Smash Planet were glowing gold. All life not evil believed in the scepter!  
  
"What's this?" said Demokin.  
  
"This," said UK smashed Demokin in the head.  
  
Demokin took a while to recover. But that was when she smiled.  
  
"Ok, so it's 1 verses 1," she said. "This is what I call a better 1 verses 1."  
  
She stepped near Damokin and they performed the fusion dance!  
  
Just the force of the major power up sent the roof of the bunker flying.  
  
The dead trees were uprooted and dust went flying all over the now-desert landscape.  
  
Everyone shielded themselves as good as they could, but the fusion ended up destroying the bunker and only a hole was left.  
  
The kin fusion smiled. It was almost 2 times more powerful then both power levels unfused put together.  
  
"Met me?" said the kin fusion. "I'm Daemokin.  
  
KirbmasterX: *finishes locking the isolation chamber and sees Daemokin* O_O What the heck Zornor?  
  
Author Zornor: Suspense is NEEDED! So is power.  
  
KirbmasterX: Ok, your cheese is weird.  
  
"SO AM I!!?!!" yelled Silva.  
  
"I like cheeese! Woo woo woo! I like cheese! Good for you! Low in fibre! high in fat! I bet that you didn't know that!" said KoRiN.  
  
"Wow, you haven't been mentioned in ages," said Pikachu.  
  
"SHUTUP YOU OVERGROWN EXCUSE FOR A CRAP!!" said KoRiN.  
  
"Authorised by the Commonwealth Government Australia!" said a random kangaroo. "All rights reserved!"  
  
"WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THIS CHAPTER!!" said Jordiscy.  
  
"Hooray for pizza!" said Balsk.  
  
"KABOOM!" said Daemokin.  
  
"It's about time you said something random," said Yoshi.  
  
"I AM A BACON BURGER!!" I yelled.  
  
"Meh, I might as well be too," said Mage.  
  
"Pow!" said Siphon and Sheath at the same time.  
  
Author Zornor: Was Sheath even previously in the story? Oh well.  
  
"I think every author's been mentioned," said Jigglypuff.  
  
"FOR ONCE!!" said Samus.  
  
"I'm a ham!" said Zelda.  
  
"Why can't I be a ham?" said Peach.  
  
"CAT FIGHT!!" yelled Pichu.  
  
"SHUTUP!!" yelled the princesses and they did their double-team attack. the Bitch-Slap Forever!  
  
Author Zornor: *reading book* It says here. 'Sprint towards the opponent while slapping in the air. Once they're near the opponent, they slap from both sides!'  
  
"Oh crap." said Pichu, and got seriously slapped from the princesses.  
  
"We all live in a yellow submarine!" said Mewtwo.  
  
"I'm so high!" said Luigi and jumped off a random cliff.  
  
"Chibis attack!" said a pen.  
  
"To be or not to be, that is the question," said the Grim Reaper.  
  
"I HAVE THE POWER!!!" yelled Ganondorf.  
  
"Power is for me!" said Phoodooman.  
  
"Why not me?" said Marth.  
  
"JAPANESE GIBERISH?" said Roy.  
  
"IWANTTOBEGIBBERISH!" said Dr Mario.  
  
"Kaboom?" said Mr Game and Watch.  
  
"Huh? Oh," sighed Falco.  
  
"WHY NOT ME!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA?" said Popo.  
  
"BECAUSE IT'S ME!!" shouted Nana.  
  
"This is officially insane," said Miana.  
  
"I think Zornor's trying to mention everyone," said Sheik.  
  
"Since when did you change?" said Peach.  
  
"When I felt like it," said Zelda.  
  
"How did she just appear too?" asked Pichu.  
  
"KoRiN, I like pizza," said Kirby.  
  
"OH LOOK IT'S MARTH!!" yelled Trillian and squeezed Marth.  
  
"O_O;;" was everyone's expression.  
  
"0_O I have a weird eye," said Link.  
  
"Bacono the Random Burger is in town!" said the Lurker.  
  
"Randomo the Bacon Burger, you idiot!" I said.  
  
"KABOING!!" yelled Captain Falcon at the top of his lungs.  
  
"!!GNIOBAK" said noclaF niatpaC.  
  
"I be mentioned! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" said Samus.  
  
"Boing?" said the bacon.  
  
"Hey look, a distraction!" said Sonic.  
  
"Ooh, where?" said Goku.  
  
"I'M A DONKEY!! I'M A DONKEY!!" yelled Bowser.  
  
"SHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Turbo Super Saiyan Link.  
  
Author Zornor: I haven't even let UK open the portal and all of KMX's characters are coming in.  
  
"Mary had a little lamb! She pushed it off the nearest dam!" said Fredrico.  
  
"Why are people just randomly appearing?" said Master Link.  
  
"Speak for yourself!" said Slywolf.  
  
"EVERYONE LOOK AT THE STUPID FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled. "And remember, believe in the scepter! ^_^"  
  
"O.o Ok." everyone said.  
  
UK blocked a move that Daemokin had attempted. The scepter had so much gold it was almost white. And about a minute later it was completely glowing white!  
  
"Ho ho ho?!" said Santa Claus.  
  
"O_O Why is the present man here!" I said.  
  
"Because I felt like it," said the Easter Bunny.  
  
Then the scepter was glowing so much that is was hard to look at. Daemokin hadn't much of a chance...  
  
"Why oh why oh WHY can't I have pie?" said Master Link.  
  
"I'm a ham!" I said.  
  
"Hey UK," said Daemokin. "If you don't attack me anymore I'll give you infinite ice cream. If you do attack me I'll destroy it!"  
  
"O_O Save the universe or infinite ice cream?" said UK. He was shaking and he looked like he was going to drop the scepter... somehow.  
  
But how could he let down the multiverse just for infinite ice cream? He couldn't possibly take it...  
  
He must've been thinking the same thing. Faster then the speed of light he hit Daemokin over the head with the scepter. And then he found the bottomless ice cream bucket right behind Daemokin!  
  
"Now I must finish the evil off..." said UK.  
  
Author Zornor: WAAAAAAAAAIITT!!!!  
  
"What?" said UK.  
  
Author Zornor: KMX didn't want them finished off.  
  
"O_o How do we rid of them?" said UK.  
  
"Send them to KMX's story."  
  
A portal suddenly opened up, and Demokin and Damokin, now unfused, were sucked into KMX's story, SSBM Story: H20.  
  
And then the script form started rushing into our story!  
  
Dr Mario: USINGTHISSTORYPORTALISHALLRULEALLTHEUNIVERSE!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Zornor: Crap! Close the portal! Close the portal!  
  
Lurker: GET IT CLOSED NOW!!!  
  
Kirby: Weeee...  
  
Ness: I'm so lonely! *gets tortured by KMX*  
  
Ness: I'm so lonely! *throws himself off a cliff*  
  
I sighed from the relief of the paragraph form back into the story. The evil deeds of Demokin and Damokin were behind us. Victory had fallen upon us... except the author made it not as good with the simple 'throw-em-in- the-portal' method.  
  
I leaned back and lay down. Yes, UK had won the battle for us. and Master Hand broke the moment of silence.  
  
"Hey guys, we won!" said Master Hand.  
  
Everyone quietly talked to each other, and then Pichu cheered really loud.  
  
Then the Smashers stood up, got out of the hole and picked up UK.  
  
"WE WON!!!?!!" said Crazy Hand.  
  
"Kablamo!" said Master Link.  
  
"I'm a ham!" said Mal.  
  
"WHERE! WHERE!" said UK.  
  
Then everyone realized something... where were they to sleep while the HQ was destroyed?  
  
"Alright guys," said Master Hand. "Back to work..."  
  
The Smashers of SSB groaned. Everyone else slouched over and started looking for something to build with.  
  
::camera zooms out to reveal a book with all the writing and pictures in it. The book is closed by Author Zornor::  
  
Author Zornor: And that is how the bacon prevailed against the cheese. HANG ON, WHAT SCRIPT IS THIS!!  
  
::throws away script for upcoming original story Random Food Wars::  
  
Author Zornor: *cough* And that is how the monkeys fertilized the plants. ::sighs and tears up script::  
  
Author Zornor: That is how the Smashers defeated the most evilest evil in the whole evil world! ::evilly laughs::  
  
Phat: YOU IDIOT!!  
  
Great Insane Randomo: Why can't you be an idiot?  
  
Lurker: Yeah!  
  
Lemp: Speak for yourself, you good for nothin' reject!  
  
Lurker: WHY YOU LITTLE!!  
  
Lemp/Lurker/Great Insane Randomo/Phat: ::get into a huge fight::  
  
Author Zornor: OK, WE WILL MOVE ON. C'ya in the Epilogue. And look out for the sequel! Requests taken for it, too, after chapter two is up.  
  
Smash-o-mania I: Unknown Pies is coming. and don't deny it!  
  
Please review and tell me of any grammatical errors.  
  
Phat: Like that?  
  
::punches Phat in the gut and throws him into the Great Insane Randomo::  
  
Great Insane Randomo: O_O Ah! ::stumbles and kicks Phat into Lemp::  
  
Lemp: Crap! ::is thrown out of hoverchair and smashes into wall::  
  
Phat: @_@ Ouch...  
  
Mario: Let'sa go!  
  
Luigi: Mama-mia!  
  
Samus: Why was I chosen to be here!  
  
Zornor: Because you have a helmet.  
  
Author Zornor: Why are you here? You're not a proper Smasher.  
  
Zornor: Now that I'm out of the actual story, I have equal power to you.  
  
Author Zornor: OH crap, I can't send you back into the story now!  
  
::Zornor and Author Zornor duel with fireballs::  
  
Zelda: C'ya around in Smash-o-Mania I! ^_~  
  
Peach: That's my job!  
  
Pichu: It's Link's!  
  
Zelda/Peach: ::perform Bitch-Slap Forever on Pichu::  
  
Pichu: X_X  
  
Link: Whatever. Hope to see thou in the epilogue. Yep, not the sequel, the epilogue...  
  
THE END...  
  
Author Zornor: ...and remember, the script form air will be invading the sequel...  
  
And by the way, the author's notes chapters have been deleted by request of FanFiction.net. 


	13. The Epilogue of CHEESE AND HAM AND STRAW...

Wow, guys! It's finally the EPILOGUE OF THE NEW SMASHER!! It's been fun writing this story! And once I get the internet working again I'll be sending this one...  
  
Internet working.  
  
Anyway, here's the conclusion of what happens...  
  
By the way, Smash-o-mania I will NOT be in script form any more. It will be in paragraph again!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
A huge, colorful building stood before us... the New Smash HQ. With the help of Sega, who we had pledged an alliance with, helped us build this building.  
  
In fact, they lent us technology to identify people's moves before we see them.  
  
Every returned to their respectful places. The planet Smash HQ was on, Gammer, was restored to it's original beauty.  
  
I got home again too, and I never EVER paused SSBBD just to get a sandwich, just in case.  
  
What now worries me is weather or not new threats will come for Gammer and it's neighbours, like Phonolite IIX.  
  
'Time will tell...' is all I can say about that.  
  
For some reason the Lurker came to live in our house. No one noticed, let alone cared that there was a Zerg creature roaming around the house... and I wondered how it walked up the stairs into the kitchen without getting noticed.  
  
KoRiN almost saw him once. Actually he did. But he thought he hallucinated.  
  
So that's the end of a beginning of a new series called Smash-o-Mania. This story is called the New Smasher. Ummm, yeh, like you didn't know that.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Cya in Smash-o-Mania I: Unknown Pies! ^^ 


End file.
